


From Dusk To Dawn I Still Exist

by AKUMA_jpg



Category: K-pop, Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Businesswoman!Joohyun, F/F, Hitman!Seulgi, based off monster, graphic but not that graphic, there's violence and killing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:21:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25497532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKUMA_jpg/pseuds/AKUMA_jpg
Summary: The competent contract killer, Kang Seulgi, gets hired on a job to take out the CEO of SM's daughter. What she doesn't know is that that same woman was her one-night stand from the night of Sunmi's wedding. And you guessed it, they fall for each other ;). Caught in between carrying out her plans or letting herself fall in love, Seulgi battles with her inner demons in order to confront her ongoing dilemma.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Kang Seulgi, Park Sooyoung | Joy/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 3
Kudos: 99





	From Dusk To Dawn I Still Exist

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I started writing this when Monster first came out and it's actually quite long. The title is an English translation of a song lyric from Monster and the story sort of depicts the mood I got from the song. There's a little bit of angst and there's a little bit of fluff, something for everyone :) STREAM MONSTER https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujb-gvqsoi0

**The Contract**

Feeling the cold carbon steel brush against the pads of her fingers as she cocked her pistol. Picking up the gun and inspecting the G43 model Glock, she slowly screwed a silencer on it’s muzzle. Maybe things would be different if the world was fair, but it’s not and she had a job to finish.

  


The Kangs were not a known family in the large city of Ansan. With her dad struggling to keep his job as a salaryman and her mom’s hospital bills piling up, Seulgi saw no other choice. Back then she stole. And she was good at it too, she was fast and nimble for a 14-year-old. As time passed, Seulgi unknowingly became the backbone of her family, with she and her brother still trying to pass school. But after a failed attempt to pickpocket some large businessman passing by, she was taken and brought to a weird place. 

  


She was up tied to a rickety metal bed frame in some underground establishment, then the man, whom she tried to steal from, continued to torture her. Landing punches flat on her face, she didn’t know how much more she could take. 

  


She was chained up like she was some kind of monster, like she was a sideshow. 

  


_ “You filthy piece of scum. People like you were born to live on the streets.”  _ He spat, brushing his sweat-soaked hair off is his forehead. 

  


It’s not like she wanted this for herself. Having spent days starving, watching her mom sit lifeless in the same hospital bed for months. She felt like the world was against her. Coming straight out of the womb, poverty is all she knew. The constant stress of knowing that the next day she might be spending her nights in the streets. She used to hate her parents, for bringing her into this horrible world with little to defend herself with. But that’s what the world did, it took and took until you had nothing left. As the days went on, she got stronger. 

  


It became increasingly harder to keep her eyes open as he went on. Her blood littered the gray concrete floors as he continued. Her body ached, a sharp stinging pain arose when fresh tears fled from her eyes. Then, suddenly he stopped. Her heart was pounding in her ears and all she could hear was a faint murmur between the man and someone else. A girl with a pale face and scarlet lips grabbed her jaw and pointed her face towards the ceiling. Then proceeding to move it around as if she was inspecting it, she let go. 

  


_ “I’ll take her.”  _ Was the last thing Seulgi heard before her eyes shut. 

  


This happened years ago, but she still remembers that day she woke up in a strange bed, feeling like hell. 

  


_ “You’re awake.” _ The woman from the previous night said from a chair near the corner of the room. 

  


Taking a better look at her, she seemed to be not much older than Seulgi. She had thick straight black hair and beautiful big eyes. 

  


_ “What is this.”  _ Seulgi managed to croak, her throat dry.  _ “If you want to kill me, then just do it. Don’t play around with me like this.” _

  


_ “Woah, woah, woah. I will do nothing of the sort.” _ A mischievous smile crept up on her face.  _ “You see, the man you tried to steal from, earlier, was the VP of my dad’s company and he just wanted a little payback.”  _ The playful smile never leaving her face.  _ “I ran a little background check on you, and I’m offering a deal.” _

  


_ A deal? _ Seulgi thought.  _ What the hell is going on? Why are rich people so weird? _ It seemed a bit odd that she went from stealing from the pockets of people passing by in the busy streets of Asan, to randomly striking deals with what seemed to be Korea’s elite. 

  


_ “My dad runs a sort of side business. It’s not completely legal, but that’s beside the point. They’re looking for people to handle small businesses and exchanges when things get a little… ugly. And since you have absolutely no money and your mother is under intensive care, my father was kind enough to offer a nice house for your family and some money…” _

  


_ “In exchange for what?”  _ Seulgi snapped, a bit hostile. She had no idea what was going on.  _ “Why would some CEO dude want the help of a teenage girl? This is stupid.” _

  


_ “Ahh, if you let me finish, Kang Seulgi, I was getting there. In exchange, for what seems like the deal of a lifetime, we need you.” _

  


_ “What? Lady, you’re not making any sense.”  _ Rubbing her temples, trying not to touch the numerous cut and bruises on her face.

  


_ “Please stop interrupting.”  _ She sighed.  _ “My dad has his weird superstitions and old traditions, he needs ‘fresh meat’, so to say, and wants to start training people that will eventually work their way up the illegal latter. Rich people have many weird and extravagant hobbies and he wants to start his own line of contract killers”  _

  


_ Contract killers? What the hell did I just get myself into?  _ Seulgi felt like this girl was from a different planet by the way she was talking about things.  _ “So what do I need to do again?” _

  


_ “Well, once you agree. We’ll move you into a military-grade training facility where you’ll learn fighting and stuff.” _ The girl seemed uninterested in sharing the details, as she was directing all her attention to her fresh manicure. 

  


_ “That’s it?” _

  


_ “Yup, just about. If you sign here, your family will be taken care of.” _ The girl held out a formal contract. 

  


Seulgi didn’t really have another choice, plus what was a little training gonna do? She just wanted her family to live with little worries and for her mother to recover. Without much thought, Seulgi signed her life away to  _ JYP Enterprises _ . 

  


___

  


Ok, maybe training was a bit harder than she imagined. As soon as she signed the contract, a notice was sent to her family that she belonged to JYP and that they were now fully funded. Her identity was completely wiped from Korea’s databases, she no longer existed. The girl told her that it would make things easier when she started working and that it would prevent her from being caught.

  


Seulgi was a fast learner and a hard worker. Every time she got knocked down, she’d get right back up. She was average height and lean, which worked in her advantage, she could easily slip into the crowd, and no one would notice her. 

  


They dehumanized her, desensitized her, and she practiced hiding emotion. They trained all their killers to be stone cold and lacking feeling. But at the end of the day, she was still a kid. Seulgi hid under her covers at night and silently sobbed, she missed her family, she missed her friends, and she missed school, but she needed to do this.

  


She lived in what seemed like a concrete cube. She slept on a paper-thin mattress and ate mysterious goop in the facility’s cafeteria. But she kept reminding herself that it was for the sake of her family. 

  


She trained for what seemed like an eternity when in reality it was merely seven years. Seven years of running, seven years of sparing men ten times her size, seven years practicing combat, seven years of target practice, and seven years of becoming a stone-cold killer. During that time she saw her family very little. They were well, but still very concerned about the sacrifices their daughter made for them. 

  


She got closer to the girl she first met, her name was Lee Sunmi and she was JYP’s princess. They were only two years apart from each other but they acted like sisters. Every time they hung out, the teasing was endless. Sunmi continued on with her career, taking over her father’s company, where Seulgi ran the other side. 

  


She didn’t consider herself a hitman, but as the years passed by, that’s what she was. Not really divulging into the moral aspect of being paid to kill important people and ruthlessly dealing with the Korean black market, Seulgi simply worked in order to provide for her family. She was a trained assassin but quickly became involved in the more criminal interworkings of JYP’s “side business”. 

  


That was her job, to take care of things when business got… ugly. Skilled in the art of killing, she was hired by many rich corporate heads to take out people when they didn’t get their way. Killing was second nature to her by now, the way she justified it was:  _ If I get to them before their security does, then it was meant to be. _

  


Seulgi held no mercy for the ruling class, she grew up poor while the 1% got to live a life of luxury. That’s how the system was built, it was designed to keep the rich richer and the poor poorer. And besides, what was the world with one less company shark to deal with?

  


**The Assignment**

Seulgi was currently hiding in Yang Hyun-suk’s walk-in closet. Her assignment was to take out the CEO of YG, she was told they interfered with JYP’s shady works. She didn’t know all the details, but the mission was for her to make it seem as if he died naturally. She was waiting for him to fall asleep so she could inject him with a deadly drug that couldn’t be tracked in the forensic investigation of his untimely death. JYP being one of the biggest donators to the Seoul Police department, the detectives would just mark his death under some natural cause (even though he had no recorded health problems).

  


She hid in the shadows until his snores filled the room. Carefully slipping into the vast master bedroom, she made her way over to the man and quickly sunk the syringe into his bloodstream. Silence soon replaced the snores, her hand traveling to the inside pocket of her black blazer. Taking out a pair of blue medical gloves and pulling them on with a snap, she places her fore and middle finger up against his pulse. 

  


_ Nothing _ .

  


And just like that, he was dead. Calmly slipping out of the mansion, careful as to not leave any traces of her existence, she got into her sleek sports car, heading to the casino.

  


On her first assignment, she was so scared. She didn’t let it show, but as soon she got home, she threw up. The idea of taking a life seemed foreign to her. But what was life if it had no end? 

  


As the years went on, her body count expanded. She got used to it, almost like she could turn her emotions on and off, like flipping a switch. 

  


Her phone was buzzing uncontrollably in the cup holder next to the gear stick. Answering it on her car’s control panel, it was Sunmi. 

  


“Hey dumb bear, are you bringing anyone to my wedding? Do I need to reserve space for your plus one?” 

  


Sighing in irritation, this was another one of Sunmi’s attempts to play the matchmaker, “No Miya and for the last time, stop asking.”

  


“Oh come on Seul, get off your high horse every once in a while and  _ laid. _ ” Sunmi dragged on.

  


“No, I don’t have time for that.” Trying to dismiss the topic

  


“Seul I’m telling you, girls these days are  _ soooo  _ into that whole mysterious, dark, brooding thing you’ve got. You’d be surprised, Chungha’s got some friends…”

  


“No, thank you.” She cuts off. 

  


“Ugh, you’re no fun.” She could hear Sunmi pouting on the other line. “It’s fine, we can talk about this later.”

  


“I don’t really think tha-” Sunmi hung up on her. Grunting in frustration, she pulled her focus on driving. 

  


Getting out of her car and tossing it’s keys to some flustered valet boy, she put her pitch-black sunglasses on. Not caring that it was 11 pm, she continued into the building. The bottom of her dress shoes meeting the carpeted floors of the casino as she spotted her associate immediately.

  


Sitting at the poker table, surrounded by a handful of men smoking cigars, was Sooyoung. Or Joy, that’s what everyone called her. She garnered the nickname after being a wealthy patron to most multinational corporations, thus making the Korean economy “joyous”, she was also the COO of JYP and worked alongside Sunmi. 

  


Sooyoung had stacks of poker chips at her side, the men at the table seemed a bit angry they were loosing. Brandishing a glass of fine scotch in her left hand, she peeked at the cards in her right before placing another bet. Seulgi leaned her back against the bar nearby, waiting until her game was over. 

  


Watching Sooyoung sweep the floor with everyone in poker for the next hour before the woman collected her winnings. 

  


“Did you really need to go that hard?” Seulgi strutted over to the Sooyoung, who was grabbing a literal suitcase full of cash. 

  


“What? It was fun. Besides, they’ve got enough money.” 

  


Thet left the gambling grounds to eat some dinner in some fancy high rise in the casino. Replacing her scotch with wine, Sooyoung ordered some steak. Seulgi ordered half the menu and now the two were casually talking business. 

  


“So, I have a job for you. You don’t need to accept, because it’s not  _ that _ pressing of a matter.” 

  


Seulgi was devouring food, plate by plate. “What is it?” She said with a full mouth.

  


“Yah! Ddeulgi finish chewing before you talk!” Sooyoung scolded playfully. Leaning closer and lowering her voice, “I need you to assassinate the CEO of SM’s daughter.” 

  


“May I ask  _ why _ ?” Swallowing her lobster.

  


“SM is JYP’s biggest competitor and at this rate, they’ll be our most threatening one at that.”

  


“So… you want me to handle the daughter? Why again?”

  


“Aish,” Sooyoung was trying to dumb it down for Kkangseul over here. “If we do this, it serves as a warning for old man SM to back off.”

  


“Okay, but isn’t that a bit  _ too _ extreme?” Putting down her fork and fully engaging in the conversation. 

  


“You wouldn’t understand, young bear.” She sighed dramatically. “Plus, it’s not that important but I figured since you’re so good at your job you could do me a solid.”

  


Pondering on it for a bit, “Fine, I’ll see what I can do.”

  


Batting her eyelashes a few times, “I love having a friend who kills people for a living.” Then leaning back in her chair, sipping her wine. 

  


“Whatever.” Seulgi rolls her eyes. 

  


___

  


On the list of things, Seulgi didn’t want to be doing, attending Sunmi’s suit fitting was at the top of her list. 

  


“Do these pants make my butt look big?” Sunmi was inspecting herself in the mirror of the large dressing room of the expensive store.

  


“What butt?” Seulgi teased. 

  


“Aish, shut up Kang. You’re still single and I’m over here getting  _ married _ .” She bragged. 

  


“Gross.” She muttered under her breath, taking a large swig from a nearby champagne bottle. 

  


Sunmi was currently sporting a form-fitting gray pinstriped suit and checking out her ass until her phone rang. 

  


“Hello?” The call breaking her trance. “Oh hi, Chungha-yah. No, I’m just trying on suits with Seulgi… Ahaha, yeah she’s still single.”

  


Sunmi was talking about Seulgi like she wasn’t sitting four feet away from her. 

  


“Mmm, I don’t know we’ll have to see… Yeah, whatever you want dear… Okay, love you too. Bye.” Seulgi couldn’t ignore how Sunmi always softened in the presence of her fiancee and a part of her felt kind of jealous. She was never able to hold keep a relationship for too long, because of her profession, and was left to a life of one night stands. 

  


“You know, I would if I could. But it’d be hard for me to date, with my job and all.” She admitted, finishing the whole bottle. 

  


“You can retire Seul, I mean there are  _ plenty  _ of competent contract killers in the market. You are the best choice, but we wouldn’t suffer without you.” She was taking off the suit and getting it ready to be packaged. “God knows you’re sitting on piles of money by now, you could just retire and invest in stocks, call it a day and die filthy rich.”

  


“I don’t know, I kinda  _ like _ what I do.” She never admitted it, but she enjoyed the nihilistic feeling of someone’s fate being in her hands. But she couldn’t do that forever, maybe one day she’d finally get caught,  _ psh as if _ . 

  


“Whatever, just be careful pabo.” She flicked her forehead.

  


“Yah! Miya, why’d you drag me here again?”

  


“Shut up dumb bear.” She handed her platinum credit card to the cashier as they bagged her purchase. 

  


___

  


It was getting late and Seulgi was growing impatient. Walking through the buildings crumby doors, she flips open her switchblade and launches it directly at a burly 6-foot guard standing at the door. As he falls to the ground, the other man swings in her direction. Swiftly dodging his terrible attempt to disarm her, she returns the favor by heaving a powerful right hook into his jaw, kicking him hard once he hits the floor. 

  


Ripping the door open, she unholsters her gun from its hidden spot under her blazer, pointing it at the man in front of her sitting in his chair, inspecting paperwork. 

  


Immediately ducking under his desk in fear and holding his hands up as surrender, Seulgi walks over and pulls him to his feet by his ear. 

  


“P-please, I promise I’m gonna pay… I-i just need a bit more time, please.” He begged, crying at this point. Forehead drenched in a nervous sweat. He looked at her with such terror in his eyes, like she was death itself.

  


“You said that last month, my boss doesn’t take kindly to those how make her wait.” She pressed the tip of her pistol to the side of his head, harshly. Her voice devoid of human emotion, robotically. 

  


“Please, I-i just need a-another month. Then I’ll give you your goddamn money.” He tried to communicate in between sobs. 

  


Looking around the office, still holding the man by his ear, she spotted a family picture. It was him standing with his wife and two young sons. Ugh, she  _ hated _ having to kill people with families. But then again, if he really valued his safety, why would he engage in illegal activity? Sort of reminded her of herself. It was reminiscent of the analogy  _ “Would you steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?” _ . 

  


His small business was suffering when he came to them, he needed the money to provide for them and saw the only way out of bankruptcy through crime. 

  


Seulgi never liked playing the loan shark, it was always the same story. An ambitious family man bites off more than he can chew and his whole family has to pay. As sad as it was, Seulgi also had people who depended on her. And the vicious cycle continued. 

  


After looking around, she loosens her grip on the man’s ear. Watching him let out a shaky breath, she pulls the trigger. 

  


_ Bang, dead _ .

  


Letting his limp body fall to the floor.  _ Great, now my last good shirt is stained. _ She put her gun back in its concealed holster in her jacket, pulling out her phone. 

  


**Kang Seulgi [10:23 pm]**

It’s done

**Son Seungwan-ssi [10:23 pm]**

Good

Meet at this location

***___*_**___****

  


She tried to ignore the sick feeling building up in her stomach, she felt like screaming.  _ I don’t hate this madness. _ She would often repeat in her head, when she herself was going mad. She learned to ignore it. Every once in awhile when she lost control, she would stand in front of the mirror, stare back at her reflection, and point a gun straight into her mouth. 

  


_ You can stop this, you have the choice. _ She really didn’t, she was poisoned. Seulgi lived in a society where people lived to work, not worked to live. When the ten big digits in her bank account didn’t satisfy her, she killed. When her family called asking for more money, she killed. And whenever her boss asked, she killed. 

  


Seulgi did lots of small jobs for vengeful businesspeople involved with JYP. That’s what came with an alliance with them. They sold some shares, talked business, and included  _ special services _ for their partnership. 

  


She was meeting with a loyal and longtime partner to JYP, Son Seungwan. Instead of being a successful CEO, Seungwan dealt with more  _ illegal _ business. 

  


She sped off to some high-class restaurant that sold extremely expensive food. After ordering some overpriced lamb, Seulgi watches the crime boss herself saunter over to their low lit table in the VIP section of the joint. Seulgi entered in the same blood-stained dress shirt she left her job with, the hostess not really caring once she flashed the black business card that told her, “ _ yeah, I’m with Korea’s elite class” _ . 

  


Despite running half the Korean black market, Seungwan was a peach. She was the kindest person Seulgi knew and was probably a Buddhist monk in her past life. But like most of the world, she  _ loved _ money. 

  


“Seulgi-ssi.” She slightly bowed her head upon arrival. 

  


“Seungwan-ssi.” Seulgi returned, already having ordered a martini. 

  


“I take it things went over smoothly?”

  


“Yes.”

  


“Good, I’m glad that’s taken care of.” She seems completely unbothered by the fact that Seulgi murdered one of her subordinates. Why would she? That was part of the job, the only way to keep it functioning was to keep her production as tight as possible. 

  


“Hmm, what looks good?” She was looking at the leather-bound menu on the table.

  


Dinner was finished in a flash, Seungwan bowed to her before heading in her chauffeured black car. Seulgi decided to go home and spend the rest of the night’s entirety in front of her tv set watching cartoons.

  


___

  


All jokes aside, Seulgi was happy to attend Sunmi’s wedding. She remembers when the young CEO would text her about her girlfriend, soon to be wife, and talk about how amazing she was.

  


She had to hand it to her, Chungha was great. She was sweet, funny, and beautiful. Seulgi didn’t understand how an idiot like Sunmi could end up with such an amazing partner. It almost gave her hope,  _ almost _ . 

  


The wedding venue was set in some beautiful place in the heart of Seoul. Sunmi was standing at the alter wearing her all-black business suit, looking sharp. The two exchanged their vows with teary eyes and watery smiles.

  


_ “And with the power invested in me, you may now kiss the bride.” _

  


___

  


Sipping on her fourth drink, Sunmi lands a harsh slap on Seulgi’s back, “Ahhhh, feels good to be married. I finally beat you, Kang.”

  


Laughing at the bet they made when they were teenagers, seeing who would get married first. “Fine, I give up you win.” She pretends to sulk in her place at the bar. 

  


The rest of the night was filled with guests dancing and enjoying the beautiful wedding, Seulgi never leaving her spot until she finds someone who catches her eye. 

  


Wearing a navy blue off the shoulder dress and looking like Korean royalty, Seulgi finds a woman sitting across from her. Having consumed enough liquor by now to muster up some courage, she walks over. 

  


“Are you a friend of Chungha’s? I don’t believe we’ve met.” Seulgi was pretending to be uninterested when she was actually dying inside, this woman was gorgeous. 

  


“Mmmm no, I’m a friend of Sunmi’s. Joohyun.” She said elegantly flipping her silky hair over her shoulder and offering a hand to Seulgi. 

  


Briefly shaking it as to not let her notice how sweaty they were, “Seulgi. May I buy you a drink?”

  


“In that outfit? Of course.” A devilish grin was distinguished on her porcelain complexion. 

  


Seulgi couldn’t help but blush. She was wearing her signature get up, an all-black tailored expensive suit and a small expensive gold chain. 

  


They talked for what seemed like hours until Joohyun pulled her onto the dance floor. Both having has a couple of drinks. Her moves were fluid and sexy, Seulgi couldn’t keep her eye or hands off her. 

  


“Want to get out of here?” She breathed in Seulgi’s ear. 

  


“Yes please.”

  


Seulgi never brought her one night stands to her apartment, preferring to go to their place. It made things complicated for her and her work, it made it dangerous if people knew where she lived. But honestly, she didn’t care, she just needed to get Joohyun alone as quickly as possible. 

  


Frantically trying to get to her door in between kisses was tough, but she had her pressed up against the wall as soon as she let them in. 

  


Littering her neck with countless kisses, her hand moved behind her in an attempt to unzip her dress. Joohyun pushing off Seulgi’s blazer as they made their way to her bedroom. They continued way into the morning, Joohyun was passed out next to her, exhausted. 

  


Seulgi slipped out from under the woman’s cuddles and into her closet, she was always the first to get up. Frowning down at her hamper, which was full of blood-stained white dress shirts. Settling for a simple white t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and a dark grey houndstooth blazer. 

  


Quickly brewing herself some black coffee, she overlooked her apartment from the kitchen counter. The wall facing her was filled with full-length windows that reached the ceiling, letting in the morning light. Decorated with expensive modern furniture and some of her paintings hanging from the wall, she was content with her modest penthouse. 

  


She rarely had visitors, for the sake of her privacy, she always went to them instead. Visiting her parents in their beach house in Japan or Sunmi’s much larger penthouse, her home felt like a sacred place for just her. 

  


Joohyun emerges from her bedroom wearing one of Seulgi’s black dress shirts that was laying around, it was a little too big for her. Stretching her arms up and yawning, Seulgi found the woman undeniably adorable. 

  


_ Cute. _ She thought to herself as she looked at the still sleepy woman’s slight bed head. “I see you’re up.” She was sipping on her iced coffee.

  


“Mmmm.” She hummed in agreement, eyes still partially closed. “I’ve got to get going soon though, I have a meeting at noon.”

  


“On a  _ Sunday _ ?” She gasped dramatically, putting a hand over her heart.

  


Laughing at the silly gesture, “Yeah unfortunately, money doesn’t sleep. As much as I want to stay Seulgi-yah, I’ve got to go.” She frowns. 

  


Moving to change into her dress, Seulgi stops her. “You can keep the shirt.” Pulling Joohyun into her embrace, hands on her hips. 

  


_ Ah, nice. Smooth Kang. _ She pats herself on the back, mentally. 

  


Moving her hands to her shoulders, Joohyun softly kisses Seulgi on the cheek. “I had fun last night.” 

  


“Mmm, me too. Such a shame you have to go, though.” She tried pulling her cutest pout. 

  


“Goodbye, Seulgi.” Changing into her heels and grabbing her dress, Joohyun was gone. 

  


Marking this as another successful one night stand, Seulgi simply moves on with her day. 

  


___

  


She didn’t even know why she was here. Seulgi was hired as protection for Sooyoung at some big business launch for SM’s new contract. She stood there, stoic, by Sooyoung’s side as she was talking about stalks of something, she wasn’t really paying attention. 

  


Although the businesswoman was 3 inches taller than her, Seulgi still remained dangerous looking. When she was currently carrying 2 loaded guns, 4 hidden knives, a cyanide capsule, and a taser. She didn’t want to silently follow Sooyoung around while she buttered up some of the most powerful men in Korea, but she was getting paid so she could handle it. 

  


Sooyoung waved her off as soon as Seungwan showed up.  _ Ha, whipped. _ She watched as the COO shamelessly flirted with the crime boss over a couple glasses of french champagne. 

  


Returning to her designated spot at the bar, she surveyed the crowd from a distance. Throwing her head back to down the rest of her whiskey, she sees a familiar silhouette standing next to Lee Soo Man. 

  


_ Bae Joohyun. _

  


She wasn’t that surprised she saw her here, considering she said she was a friend of Sunmi’s. Sunmi only had friends involved in business, and Sunmi was a  _ very _ friendly person it seemed. Seulgi found it hard to look away, staring at the woman’s large doe eyes and diamond smile, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t want to spend another night with Joohyun. 

  


But Kang Seulgi never double dipped, she kept a strict  _ one- _ night stand policy, it made her life easier not having to depend on people. People depended on  _ her _ , not the other way around. If there was one thing that she was taught not to show in her trainee days, it would be vulnerability. 

  


Turning her attention back to her empty cup, she flags down the bartender. Ordering another, she knows she shouldn’t drink anymore if she wants to stay alert but she needs something to calm her rapid heartbeat. 

  


“Seulgi?” She hears that sweet soft voice announces from behind her. 

  


Turning around with an indifferent expression on her face, “Joohyun.”

  


“What are you doing here?”

  


“I was hired as protection and I was told to standby.”

  


“So… you’re a bodyguard?” Her curiosity peeking, it was obvious she wanted to learn more about Seulgi. 

  


“No.”

  


“Do you work for JYP?”

  


“Yes.”

  


“Are you one of Jinyoung’s  _ goons? _ ” That same playful smirk slapped on her face. 

  


“I guess you could say that.” Finishing her whiskey. 

  


“Wow, not the talkative type?” Joohyun was trying to poke the bear. 

  


“Not really? You didn’t tell me you’re the daughter of Lee Soo Man” She was just trying to play hard to get, her trademarked tactic these days. 

  


“Didn’t seem important and I just assumed you would’ve googled me by now. Plus, you didn’t tell me you wear black suits for a living” She teases.

  


“Mmm, I’m not the type who googles past hookups.  _ And _ I happen to look good in black suits.”

  


“Wow,  _ past hookup _ . Is that what we’re calling it now.” Joohyun had a competitive fire in her eyes. “Anyways, I’m the daughter of Lee Soo Man.”

  


“Well it’s a pleasure to finally get acquainted, you’re majesty.” She fakes a bow. 

  


Gaining a cute laugh from the princess of SM, “You’re too cute, Seulgi-ah.” 

  


God, Sooyoung had the worst timing. Walking over and interrupting their friendly banter, she slings an arm over Seulgi’s shoulder. 

  


“I see you two met.” With a sly smirk.

  


Joohyun politely bowing, “Yes. Hello Joy-ssi.”

  


“Well aren’t you two a couple of peaches.” Sooyoung jested, noticing Joohyun’s blush. “I wouldn’t mind lending her to you for a bit if you need the extra security.” Her smile growing more and more devilish. 

  


“I was looking for a new guard…” Joohyun ponders. “The last one… uh… didn’t work out.” 

  


Seulgi was trying so hard right now not to punch Sooyoung in the head as she felt Sooyoung reach inside her blazer and hand Joohyun her the all-black business card that read,  _ “Kang Seulgi, protection and contracted services” _ . 

  


“If you excuse me, I’ve got to get going.” She lolled, spinning on her heels and slapping Seulgi’s back before leaving. 

  


_ Damn you, Park Sooyoung. _

  


“I’ll give you a call sometime if that’s all right with you.” Joohyun replied. 

  


“Sure.” Seulgi nonchalantly looking for the nearest exit so she could run out of here. 

  


“Well, I’ll be seeing you Seulgi-ah.” Joohyun flashed a sweet smile, returning to her father’s side. 

  


_ So help me God, please this woman is insatiable.  _

  


**The Target**

It felt a bit dramatic to be standing on the rooftop of the tall highrise. She felt like batman, to be honest. Peering over the edge, she made contact with the approaching black limousine, climbing into the air conditioning vents. 

  


_ Gross. _

  


She rarely went to these measures when taking on a job, but this one was crucial. She was hired by the youngest daughter of CUBE enterprises, Jeon Soyeon, to assassinate her older sister. Again, it was the same story, the second-born child wants to inherit the company but has to wait their turn. 

  


Inconspicuously making her way over the negotiation room, she hears the subtle voices of the older woman talking on the phone. Squeezing through the thin metal vents, she sees the woman, thin and slender, she looked mean.

  


In a matter of seconds, she popped the lid of the vent off, expertly landed on her feet, catching the vent before it hit the ground. The woman standing there in shock, Seulgi pounces over the desk, covering her mouth with a chloroform soaked handkerchief, knocking her out. Adhering the vent back in its place as to leave no trace, she gets to work. 

  


Her task was to make it seem as if she went “missing”, pulling the woman over on to her back and escaping through the back door. Buckling her into the passenger’s side of her car, she speeds through the desolate midnight streets of Seoul in the direction of the meat packaging district. 

  


Breaking into the closed warehouse, she looks around for the meat grinder. Throwing the woman in with a grunt, she watches the gory scene with an emotionless stare. After the remains of the woman are no longer visible, she empties two liters if bleach in the machine, washing traces of her blood away. Seulgi takes the processed “meat” and dumps it into a trashcan, setting it ablaze. Getting back into her sleek sports car, returning to her empty apartment for a good night’s rest. 

  


___

  


Seulgi was sitting in her home office, idly scrolling through emails. Sitting at the top of her inbox was the heading that read  _ Bae Jooyun SM Corp. _ And she had never clicked faster in her life. Still abiding by her stupid rules of one-night stands, she found her self thinking about Joohyun more often than not. She thought Joohyun was the most beautiful person in the world and was constantly reminded of that whenever they bumped into each other at random places.

  


It started at the party, then they spotted each other at the same dry cleaners. Seulgi was picking up a dozen freshly pressed white dress shirts and Joohyun was getting her father’s ties pressed. 

  


“Doesn’t your dad have people that do that for him?” She brought up after they decided to get coffee next door, 5 bodyguards in all black suits surrounded their table. 

  


“I ordered them as a gift and they came wrinkled.” She corrected, taking a bite from the pastry she ordered. “And I could ask you the same thing, for being pretty high profile I’m surprised to see you outside.”

  


“Ahhh, so you googled me.”

  


“Yeah,” She smiled coyly. “There wasn’t much, only your name, and that you work for JYP.”

  


Being a professional hitman, there wasn’t a lot of publicized information about her out there. She’d like to keep it that way, but that would be hard considering Ms.Bae over here was followed by literal  _ swarms _ of people every time she stepped out in public. She kept her pitch-black tinted sunglasses on the whole time they were together. 

  


They then saw each other at the same restaurant. Joohyun was eating with some business partner she worked with and Seulgi was meeting with Sunmi, who had just returned from her honeymoon.

  


“Seul do you know that guy? Because you’re giving him the death stare.” Seulgi was a little jealous to see that man endlessly flirt with Joohyun when she looked very uncomfortable. 

  


_ Okay, maybe she had a little crush on the businesswoman. _

  


“Hmmm? No, just think I remember him from somewhere.” She deflects. 

  


“Really? You know Suho? He’s from the EXO branch, they work closely with SM.” Sunmi was playing with her food at this point. “They look a little  _ too _ close.” Suho was trying to scoot close to Joohyun in the booth they were seated at, she was repeatedly moving backward as to avoid him. 

  


_ That drunk bastard. _ She thought through the rest of her meal. 

  


Just as Sunmi was ordering dessert, Seulgi excused herself to use the bathroom, when in reality she when to his expensive-looking Audi R8 and slashed it’s tires. 

  


Not stalling any longer, she opens the email. Just to summarize, she was asked to come into SM where she’d be interviewed and prospectively hired as Joohyun’s personal security. 

  


_ Monday 10:30 am. _ The date already engraved into her brain. 

  


Feeling rather unproductive this weekend, Seulgi grabs a coat hanging from her hallway closet and heading out. 

  


Whenever she was bored, or out if practice, she went to the underground shooting facility run by her old training team. The team that made her into the dangerous killer she as today. Choosing her toys in the stronghold, she loaded her guns. She picked a Glock SF30, silenced Beretta M9A3, and a fully automatic HK416. 

  


A couple rounds in and there was a gaping hole in the head of the paper target set up for her. Switching the empty mag to full like she had done it a hundred times, she continues to burry her bullets directly in the head and heart of the paper dummy. 

  


“Damn, haven’t lost your touch I see.” A feminine voice mutters from behind her, impressed. “Glad to see you back, Kang.”

  


Coming face to face with a tall skinny woman with black bangs across her forehead.  _ Lisa. _ God, she hadn’t seen her in years.

  


“I thought you retired?” Skipping the introductions. 

  


“Nice to see you too, pabo.” She laughed heartily. “I did, but I show up every once in a while to blow off some steam. Still working with the big dogs?”

  


“Yeah. You still with Chaeyoung?” Lisa met Caheyoung when she was on a mission to assassinate the leader of the Australian branch of Pledis Co. Lisa retired 4 months later and she and Chaeyoung moved back to Korea. 

  


“Yessir,” She gleamed proudly, flashing her golden wedding band. “We’ve got a kid”

  


“That’s great!” She held a special place in her heart for her old friends that used to work with her. Seulgi was the last one, the rest either retired to start families and settle down or died. Putting down her gun, “How old?”

  


Her eyes turning into little crescents from how hard she was smiling. “She’s 3 years old, her name is Jisoo.” She moved her hand to her back pocket to pull out her phone and show her pictures. Jisoo was the cutest little toddler Seulgi had ever seen. Lisa played her a short video of Jisoo marching around in their living room singing,  _ “Annyeong, annyeong, naneun Jisoo-ya.” _

  


“Daebak, I’m so happy for you, Lisa.” She turned from deadly shooting bear to dazed cute cub withing seconds. 

  


“Hurry up and retire so you can visit.” Lisa crossed her arms and pouted. 

  


Scratching the back of her head, “Yeah, Sunmi says it’s about time I call it quits, but I’m still on my last job.”

  


“ _ Last? _ ” Lisa looked interested. 

  


She really didn’t know herself, she wasn’t necessarily tired of her work. But she could do without the constant feeling that every day might be her last. Maybe she should consider retirement. She missed her family, her friends, and who knows, maybe she could start her own family. Compared to planning the deaths of the world’s most powerful company men, parenthood seemed like a piece of cake. 

  


“I don’t know, maybe I should quit.”

  


“Believe me Seul, you’ve earned it by now.” Lisa patted her on the back. “Everyone deserves a break, even killers.” She joked. 

  


___

  


Straightening her tie in the lobby of SM, she took in a deep breath. Seulgi was wearing a stark black suit, paired with a pristine button-down and a black silk tie. She balled her hands up into tight fists, letting her grip loosen once she exhaled, her hands clad in black leather gloves.

  


“Ms.Kang, Joohyun-ssi will see you now.” The secretary bowed. 

  


Carefully taking her sunglasses off and slipping them in her breast pocket, she silently nods and heads into the conference room. Various associates in the room got up to bow in Seulgi’s presence, but Joohyun stayed sitting at the end of the table. 

  


“Seilgi-ssi” She seemed way more serious than when she was in past encounters, Seulgi assumed this was  _ business _ Joohyun. “This is my lawyer, Chanyeol.” Gesturing to the tall man next to her.

  


There was a shorter woman sitting to the left of Joohyun, she had blonde hair and started the interview. “Seulgi-ssi, we’ve done a thorough background check on you and it seems you’re specialties include close hand to hand combat and… marksmanship? Is there anything else you’d like to add?”

  


“I trained with the Red Velvet Cobras for 7 years and immediately was put under JYP. I’ve assisted Park Jinyoung-ssi, Lee Sunmi-ss, and Park Sooyoung-ssi in past engagements and there were no complications.” She seemed charismatic as ever. 

  


The rest of the yes men at the table nodded in approval until the woman continued, “Joohyun has had numerous past guards who tried to plan her… demise.” She was having a hard time trying to find the appropriate words. “There has been a recent occurrence of people, company heads, trying to infiltrate the company through Joohyun-ssi. You’re only job would be to protect her and be at her side at all times until these events subside.”

  


_ That’s it, just do as Sooyoung requested and retire. Then you’re done. _ If only it was that easy.

  


___

  


Seulgi was provided the address of Joohyun’s estate and a number of details about the woman she’d be monitoring for the next coming months. 

  


First, Joohyun went to the office from Monday to Thursday and worked from home on Fridays. 

  


Second, Joohyun owned 5 estates, 2 penthouses in Seoul, a beach house in Jeju, and 3 whole apartment buildings in Daegu. 

  


Third, Joohyun didn’t have a license and needed to be driven around. And lastly, she didn’t like chicken. 

  


Knocking on the door of the 4,000 square foot luxury high rise. Glancing at her watch it was 3 in the afternoon. Seulgi thought she was going to faint, immediately averting her eyes from the woman standing in front of her. Joohyun answered the door in her bathrobe. 

  


“Why so shy Kang?” She laughed at Seulgi’s flustered state. “Come in.” 

  


They sat down across from each other at Joohyuns glass dining table. Her hair looked a bit damp, she must’ve been in the middle of drying it. 

  


“This is my personal number, if you come in to contact with anyone that’s not me or Chanyeol, call me.”

  


Joohyun rolled her eyes, “I’m not a child, Seulgi-ya.” 

  


“You’re being hunted, Joohyun-ssi.” Seulgi put on a serious face. 

  


Getting up to move to the couch, she pouts. Seulgi didn’t know how such a woman could be both cute and sexy simultaneously, she was going to be the death of her. Joohyun was watching some K-drama on her 90-inch flatscreen while Seulgi sat in a nearby leather armchair, reading Jean-Paul Sartre’s  _ “Being and Nothingness” _ .

  


“So what do you do for fun?” Joohyun was bored with her tv already. “Besides slashing tires.” She grinned.

  


“W-what?”

  


“Don’t play dumb Seulgi-ah, I see right through your disguise.”

  


Seulgi internally panicking for a second. 

  


“Thank you though,” Joohyun softened. “Not many people know I like girls, so businessmen still try to get in my pants from time to time” She was referencing the night she was with Suho.

  


_ Oh. _ She finally let out the breath she didn’t notice she was holding. 

  


“You mean your not a playboy lesbian like Sunmi?” Seulgi attempted to lighten the mood. 

  


Hearing Joohyun’s loud boisterous laugh echo through the large apartment made Seulgi’s heart grow. “Yah! When we met,  _ you _ approached me.” 

  


Soon enough, Joohyun turned off the tv and she and Seulgi talked until 2 am. There was so much about her she didn’t know. 

  


Joohyun liked reading, she was easily frightened, she was really bad a cooking, all of her friends caller her  _ umma _ , and her nickname was Baechu. 

  


Calming down after their 4th laughing fit that night, wiping a tear from her eye. “This was fun Seulgi-ah, but I’m tired.” She leaned on the killer’s shoulder, Seulgi had moved to the couch to hear her better since her voice is soft and quiet.

  


Without thinking, Seulgi scooped her up in her arms, carrying her to her bedroom bridal style. She got lost… twice. Joohyun’s house was too big. Their night ended with Seulgi tucking her under the duvet and whispering a goodbye as Joohyun fell asleep. 

  


___

  


**The First Attempt**

Seulgi hated her options. This was the first time she hated her job. The more she stayed by Joohyu’s side, the more she forgot what her mission was. Especially when Joohyun told her to drop the formalities when they addressed each other. 

  


**Baechu [2:34 pm]**

Seulgi-ah i’m boooooored 

(*☻-☻*)

  


Seulgi was in her walk-in closet, polishing her stainless steel vintage revolver. Her phone buzzed from its spot on her dresser, picking it up and smiling when she sees a message from the older woman. 

  


**Kkangseul [2:35 pm]**

What do you want Hyun-ah? -_-

**Baechu [2:35 pm]**

Come ooooooovverrrrrrr

**Kkangseul [2:35 pm]**

I’m busy

**Baechu [2:35 pm]**

With what? You work for me

ARE YOU TWO TIMING ME(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

Come over and I’ll order tteokbokki!!

**Kkangseul [2:36 pm]**

Hmmm (¬_¬)

Fine.

**Baechu [2:36 pm]**

Hurry! ٩( 'ω' )و

  


Seulgi found herself laughing at the texts Joohyun sent her. If possible, Joohyun was cuter when texting when she sent emojis and it only made her heart pound harder when she imagined Joohyun’s death. 

  


Most of the time it popped up in her head when she was doing everyday things. When she was unloading her groceries, she thought of Joohyun’s lifeless eyes staring back at her as she disposed of her body, or when she was washing her hands, she envisioned scrubbing them clean of Joohyun’s blood. Applying more soap to her crimson-stained fingertips.

  


_ Stop it. Control yourself, Kang.  _ But she couldn’t help it, she was raised this way.

  


___

  


This time, when Joohyun opened the door, the smell of fried foods greeted her. They enjoyed chicken and tteokbokki in Joohyun’s massive dining room. 

  


“What’s it like? Being a personal guard?” She moved her chopsticks to grab another rice cake. 

  


“Mmm, I don’t know. I just watch people and make sure they don’t die.” She was picking apart a chicken bone. 

  


“Have you ever wanted to be something else?” Man, this girl sure was curious. 

  


“No, I didn’t really have a choice. I grew up poor and this paid well.” If Joohyun was anyone else, she wouldn’t be sharing these details.

  


“What would’ve happened if you didn’t take it?” 

  


“I would’ve stayed on the streets.” She thought back to her childhood, whenever her job got too gritty, if things would’ve been different. Would she watch her family die of hunger and poverty, or kill rich people for a living? She often argued with herself that those things weren’t equal, 50+ dead businessmen weren’t equivalent to 3 Kangs. Seulgi knew she was a bad person, for that sole purpose, but all humans were selfish. 

  


“Who’s the most important person you’ve worked for.” Joohyun moved on. 

  


“You’re asking too many questions.” Seulgi warned.

  


“Ahaha, sorry. Are you sworn to secrecy.” Her laugh was golden, it never failed to lift her mood whenever she heard it. 

  


___

  


The internal tug-of-war continued when they were sitting on Joohyun’s couch, her eyes closed as she leaned on her. Half-eaten take out sitting now on the coffee table, the lights off, and the low glow of the tv illuminating her beautiful features. Seulgi brought her hand and cupped the side of Joohyun’s face. Feeling the heavy knife in her pocket. 

  


_ It would be so easy just to slit her throat.  _ She pictured the bloodbath that would cause, ruining the white carpet in the living room. 

  


Clearing her throat and letting go of her, her hand inches toward her pocket. Tracing it’s distinct outline from the outside of her pants, she moves to clench her fist. 

  


Shaking her head in disappointment.  _ Weak. _

  


**The Second Attempt**

Waking up to her phone she angrily picks up. “What?”

  


“We’re going to Jeju later today, pack.” Joohyun announced, the soft hum of water being boiled in the background. She was making herself some tea. 

  


“Huh?”

  


“My cousin is having her 25th birthday today, I need to attend.” 

  


“Kay.” She hung up, swinging her feet over the side of her bed. 

  


Groaning and packing the essentials for her trip. Slinging on her holster, she loaded her gun. She was bringing her silver Sig P635 and a small switchblade for safety measures, grabbing her coat and keys before leaving. 

  


This time, Joohyun greeted her at the door fully clothed, well kinda. She was wearing a short party dress. Seulgi was wearing a light oversized white dress shirt, tucked into a pair of tailored plaid suit pants, a blazer resting on her left shoulder. 

  


“Ready?” 

  


“Yes.” She moves out of the doorway, letting Seulgi take her luggage. “Do you  _ really _ have to bring that?” Joohyun pointed at her hip in distaste, where her firearm was placed. 

  


“Mhm, unless you want to die.” Seulgi rebutted as they traveled to the lobby, where a car was waiting to take them to her private jet. 

  


Her cousin’s party was on some fancy rooftop, fully stocked with booze and narcotics. A small woman with a doll-like face comes over and gives Joohyun a small hug upon arrival.

  


“So glad you could make it Joohyunnie!” She squealed.

  


“I wouldn’t miss your 25th, Jennie.”

  


For the rest of the night, Seulgi stood at the bar (no surprise), while Joohyun made her rounds, socializing. From the other side of the bar, a man dressed in an expensive velvet suit was scowling at Joohyun, whispering something to his guard. 

  


_ Here we go, it starts.  _ Reminding herself where her weapons were, she’d memorize their faces if anything were to arise. 

  


Watching closely as they trailed behind Joohyun when she left to go to the restroom. The hallway had a set of doors that separated them from the rest of the rooftop, trapping them inside. She quietly locked them, the 3 guards not noticing as Joohyun went to the single bathroom. 

  


Hearing the door click, she pounces on the back of the man closest to her, swiftly snapping his neck with all her force, he had a damn thick neck. The other two goons pointing their guns at her as the no longer breathing one hit the floor with a dull thud. 

  


Flipping her knife open, she rams into the guy on the right closest to the door, before they could shoot. Seulgi was hunched over slightly as she drove her knife deep into his chest, twisting it. He spit blood up and it landed on the back of her shirt. She’d be significantly richer if she had a dollar for every time she ruined a white shirt. The last remaining guy grabbed her arm and slammed her into the wall. 

  


Causing her to clench her jaw in pain, having the wind knocked out of her. Like a scene in slow motion, she sees him throw a punch that could easily crush her head considering his hands were the size of footballs, and dodging it. His hand collided with the wall, cracking the cheap plaster. She whipped out her gun and buried in his stomach before pulling the trigger. 

  


It wasn’t silenced, but the sheer mass of his body absorbed most of the sound. He stumbled back, clutching his belly and falling back on his butt. A horrified expression finds it’s way to his stone-like features, he scoots away from her, hitting his back on the wall. 

  


Her gaze was deadly as she walked over to him, his face contorting as he started to cry out of fear and pain. Reaching into her pocket, Seulgi screwed on her silencer and wiped a bead of sweat from her face. Laying the tip of it’s loaded muzzle to the middle of his forehead and without missing a beat, she pulls the trigger. His blood stained the wall behind him. For what seemed like hours, she nimbly eliminated them in mere minutes. 

  


Seulgi was running out of time, it wouldn’t be long before Joohyun was finished in the restroom. She dragged their still corpses to the janitor’s closet at the end of the hall. Finding a poster in the small room, she ripped it off and put it over the aggressive blood stain clinging on the hallway. Taking off the first guys jacket and putting it on to cover the blood on her ruined shirt. 

  


Sitting in the dark musty storage room until she hears Joohyun’s heals click towards the exit, her scowl unchanging.

  


___

  


Seulgi waited in that closet until the rooftop party disbursed, the screen of her phone lighting up the pitch-black room.

  


**Baechu [12: 48 am]**

Heading up to the hotel room now.

  


She told Joohyun to text her if she was going anywhere without her. Assuming that man from earlier would send more men to Joohyun if she was still alive, Seulgi climbed down the stairs to the garage. 

  


Low and behold, seven more men, all dressed in black suits as they filed out of a parked truck. Seulgi hid behind the concrete pillar, taking out her gun and checking the ammunition.  _ Shit. _ There were only 4 bullets left. Jumping out from her hiding sport, she took out four of the seven men. All four bullets finding their way to each of the attacker’s hearts. 

  


It was their turn, as she saw their hands moving to the insides of their jackets. Sprinting to the first one to aim at her, she jabs at his wrist, disarming him. She caught the gun falling out of his grasp mid-fall, turning him and using him as a human shield to block the bullets being fired at her. He took thirteen bullets to the chest before she let him go, his weight too heavy for her to carry. The sound of gunshots echoing through the empty parking complex. One by one, the remaining two men unloaded their clips on her, or in her direction (they didn’t actually hit her). 

  


_ Amateurs. _ They had a horrible aim and were trigger happy.

  


A man with a nasty scar going through his cheek flipped open a butterfly knife and she barely had time to avoid his attack. He slashed her right cheek, she felt the warm blood travel down her face as she executed a low sweeping kick, knocking him off his feet. Stomping on his throat and launching herself onto the last guard. 

  


He was a leaner man compared to the rest, he was faster as he drove a forceful uppercut into her gut. Rolling on the cold, rough cement floor, she coughed up a smidge of blood. He moved forward to grab her, but she was already standing. 

  


With all the force she could muster, she tried to land a high kick, leaning back at the height. But she was too slow, he ducked and placed another blow into her chin. He was untouchable. His moves too fluid and evasive, she couldn’t make contact with him. Every attempt sent her flying backward. 

  


He picked up the dropped knife and started to swing. She just had to wait, wait until he got tired of playing the offense. 

  


A tactic she picked up in training. Her old teacher told her that being at a disadvantage when fighting someone faster and stronger, one had to be patient. She needed to wait for a weakness of his to bubble to the surface. 

  


Studying his movements, she noticed a few things:

  


One, he was panting hard, which meant he was getting tired. He was putting so much energy into his blows. Second, he was a bit clumsy on his feet, his arms and legs weren’t coordinated. Despite being exceptionally light on his feet, he had little technique. And third, getting tired of Seulgi’s defensive steps, he was getting more reckless, thinking less about where he would thrust his knife next. 

  


And just like that, he tripped over one of his colleagues and Seulgi struck him in the groin, causing him to double over. Slapping the knife out of his hand and sandwiching his face in between her hands, she twists his head till she hears a firm pop. 

  


His limp body meeting the rugged parking lot floor, with his eyes still open. 

  


By the end that little skirmish, Seulgi had a cut on her face, multiple bruises, and her jacket was in tatters from that knife fight. The adrenaline still in her system, she runs up to Joohyun’s room. 

  


_ I’m going to end this now. _ She was still tightly gripping onto that knife. 

  


Rapping on the door, she waits a couple of seconds before she answers. Joohyun was wearing an oversized shirt and some grey sweatpants. Her face was bare, but Seulgi thought she was a walking angel. 

  


“What happened?” She tried not to sound scared, but her voice broke a little at the end. Joohyun grabbed the hand that wasn’t holding a knife and pulled her inside. 

  


Seulgi’s grip loosening, she dropped it outside the door. Joohyun brought her to the bathroom, rummaging through the drawers for a first aid kit and Seulgi just leaned against the sink, motionless. She took off her torn up jacket and bloody shirt, leaving her in a simple white tank top. 

  


Flinching when Joohyun used a disinfectant wipe on her cut and put a bandaid over it. Her hands held so much tenderness, Seulgi reached up to cup Jooyhun’s cheek. “There were people after you and I-”

  


Joohyun wrapped her arms around her neck, pulling her into a hug, her height making her chin rest on her shoulder, shutting her up. Letting go after a couple of long seconds, she continues searching Seulgi’s face and arms for more injuries. 

  


She got dressed in her pajamas and got ready to sleep on the couch. Joohyun just frowned at her, grabbing her hand again and wordlessly bringing them to the bed. Finally laying down, her limbs felt like jelly, Joohyun was careful not to touch any of her bruises when getting closer to her under the covers. 

  


Quickly falling asleep with her ear to Seulgi’s chest, the peaceful cadence of her heartbeat calming her. Once Joohyun’s soft snores sounded the air, Seulgi let her mind wander. 

  


Being this close to her, Seulgi felt like she was being stabbed by a thousand tiny needles, all directly pointed at her heart. Every time Joohyun smiled at her, the pain only grew. But the longer she stayed around, the harder it became to leave. 

  


**Bargaining**

Once Seulgi was back in Seoul, she didn’t miss the frown Sooyoung shot her when she saw Joohyun exit the company car. She tried, she really did, but the more she stayed with Joohyun, the more she forgot about her original mission. 

  


“I thought you were gonna, ya know-” Sooyoung dragged a finger over her throat. 

  


“It’s complicated,” Seulgi said through gritted teeth, she was getting annoyed at her incapability to kill this woman. 

  


“Really? Because if this was anyone else, she’d be dead by now.” She eyed Seulgi’s bandage. They were at another conference, talking in a closed bathroom stall. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re up to some funny business.”

  


“I’m working on it okay. Leave this to the professional.” She dismissed, moving to unlock the flimsy small door. 

  


___

  


Sitting on her couch reading  _ American Psycho _ , she thought of the daughter of SM again. Why couldn’t she just end it? Why was it so hard for her? Seulgi had very little friends, only a couple from training (Lisa, Hyojung, to name a few), Sooyoung, and Sunmi. She never dated because all her life she had been working, god forbid she fell in  _ love _ . 

  


**Baechu [5:26 pm]**

I’m bored again |(￣3￣)|

Let’s order pizza (=^ェ^=)

**Kkangseul [5:30 pm]**

Don’t you have work??

**Baechu [5:30 pm]**

(￣^￣)ゞ I finished already.

**Kkangseul [5:30 pm]**

omw

  


Having memorized the route to Joohyun’s already, she let herself in with the spare key she gave her. “Joohyun?” 

  


She wasn’t in her usual spot on the couch, Seulgi’s eye’s searched for her from the foyer. Walking further inside, Joohyun was nowhere to be found. She wasn’t sitting in the living room, she wasn’t in the kitchen, and she wasn’t in her home office. 

  


_ What if Sooyoung got tired of waiting and hired someone else? What if that man from the party sent more people? What if someone got to her first? _ Seulgi felt a heavy wave of worry wash over her. 

  


Her stomach filled with dread, the idea of losing Joohyun started to scare her. For once in her life, Seulgi valued someone who wasn’t apart of her family. She couldn’t explain it, whenever she was with Joohyun, she felt lighter. Only when she thought about her current engagement with Sooyoung did she start to get uneasy around the shorter woman. But overall, Joohyun made her feel safe and secure, something more dangerous for a killer than a bullet to the head. 

  


“Joohyun! Joohyun?” She raised her voice. 

  


She started frantically opening every door in her house, hoping she’d be behind one.  _ Why is her house so goddamn big?! _ Her hands were shaky as she reached for the doorknob.

  


Joohyun was standing at her dresser, pulling a shirt over her head. She jumped when Seulgi opened the door, it easily frightened her. 

  


“Ahhhh, Hyun-ah!” She whined, slapping her forehead. “I was calling for you.”

  


“Sorry, I just got out of the shower and didn’t hear.” She pleaded with innocence.

  


“Aish, I was worried.” She took a seat on the edge of her king-sized mattress, rubbing her temples.

  


“Relax,” She looked down at her, with a kind expression face. “Look, see. I’m fine.” She showed her her arms and kicked her legs around, cutely.

  


Laughing at the silly notion, she grabs Joohyun’s hands that were dangling at her sides and pulled her in closer. Looking up at her, Seulgi stared into her big brown doe eyes and felt brand new. 

  


Her stomach growling like a feral animal interrupted their tender moment. 

  


“Ahah, I take it you’re hungry?” Joohyun teased. 

  


Blushing at the offer, “Yeah, maybe we should order.”

  


___

  


She found herself sitting by Joohyun’s side again, and watching some survival show on her giant tv. Joohyun was hugging her right arm in the cold atmosphere of the apartment. Pulling a wool blanket over them, Joohyun looks up at her. 

  


“Why were you so scared earlier?” 

  


“I thought you were in trouble. You weren’t answering.”

  


“Why would I be in trouble?”

  


“Joohyun, there are people that want you dead.” 

  


That seemed to draw silence out of the young Bae. 

  


“Hey,” she looked down at the silent girl. “that’s why I’m here, to make sure no one does that.” Seulgi gave her a reassuring smile. 

  


She truly was a sick human being, she held Joohyun’s life in her hands and contemplated killing her on multiple accounts. She didn’t deserve to be by her side, she didn’t deserve to feel the way she did. Joohyun should’ve died a long time ago, she should’ve been finished off back at Jennie’s party, but she still existed. 

  


Joohyun leaned in and connected their lips, flipping off the tv. 

  


___

  


The next morning, she woke up in Joohyun’s bed. Light peeking through the sheer curtains that covered the large windows, her eyes stung once they opened. Looking to her left, Joohyun was bundled up under the covers. She looked angelic, her facial features were relaxed and calm, giving Seulgi a warm feeling. 

  


It was nice, knowing someone out there didn’t think she was a criminal or a weapon. But then again, Joohyun didn’t know. If she knew, she’d probably never look at her the same. That’s when the harsh reality of her character hit her again. Someone like her would never be able to be with someone like Joohyun. Someone like Seulgi deserved only the worst things in life for what she’s done, and she knew that well. She was reminded of it every time she looked at Joohyun. 

  


She found her pants laying on the floor, half-buttoned on her shirt, and headed out to the balcony. She looked down at her sad cracked phone screen and frowned at Sooyoung’s contact. This was going to be hard to explain. 

  


“Hello?” Seulgi could hear typing in the background, Sooyoung was probably at the office.

  


“Hi,” She really didn’t want to be having this conversation. “I decided I’m gonna drop your request, I don’t need any more money.” 

  


“Ha,” Sooyoung saw right through her lame excuse. “Seul, you’ve never needed the money, you’re almost richer than me and you still take contracted jobs… Oh no, don’t tell me you actually like her.” Sooyoung groaned. 

  


“Let’s say hypothetically… I did.” She was stalling, not wanting to come face to face with what she was dealing with. 

  


“Well then, hypothetically, that would make my life ten times harder.” She could picture the businesswoman pacing in her office. “The one company I need to take down and they now have the world’s most dangerous contract killer on their side, Seul this is gonna be a problem.”

  


The dread in her stomach only grew, she knew she worked in a literal cut-throat industry. From her perspective, someone was going to get hurt. 

  


**Bad Intentions**

Seulgi was losing track of the times she woke up in Joohyun’s bed. Being with Joohyun taught her some new things about herself. She liked cuddles, she enjoyed laughing, and she felt comfortable around her. 

  


Hearing her phone wakes her up, she leaves the warm covers and sits on the edge of the bed, “Hello?”

  


“Seulgi, it’s Seungwan. I’m gonna need a favor.”

  


“What is it.” Small slender arms wrap around her torso and she felt Joohyun’s lips press into her nape. 

  


“I need you to do some research for me. How much do you know about SM’s financial history?” 

  


“Seungwan, do you know what I do for a living? Why the hell would I know that?”

  


“If it’s not too much trouble, just find me some of their most recent financial reports.” She heard what sounded like Sooyoung’s voice call for Seungwan in the background. “I got to go, bye” 

  


“Who was that?” Joohyun paused the kisses she was peppering all over her lover. 

  


“Someone from work.” She dismissed, getting up to get dressed. 

  


___

  


She enjoyed the domestically of waking up with Joohyun, then heading to work with her. Her job required her to be under her surveillance 24/7 but it felt nice just being around her. She was reading  _ The Art Of War _ on the couch while Joohyun sat at her desk, finishing some paperwork. 

  


From the corner of her eye, she saw the small woman gather her things and get up. “I have a meeting in like 5 minutes, I’m going to get there early to set up.” She leaned down and pressed a kiss on the top of Seulgi’s head.

  


“Want me to come?” 

  


“No, it’s fine. I’m just going to be down the hall.” She waved her goodbye and closed the door to her office on the way out. 

  


Like a cat, Seulgi’s eyes expertly surveyed her desk, quickly finding this month’s expense reports and making a copy. She didn’t know how to read it, but she saw a lot of minus checks and negative values. Not necessarily something you’d like to associate with a large company like SM. 

  


Folding the document and slipping it in her coat she resumes reading the dog eared page in her book. A few hours pass and she sees Johyhun walking with Chanyeol through the glass walls of her office before he moved in front of her to open the door. 

  


“Hello, Seulgi-ssi.” Chanyeol formally bowed. “Good to see you well.” 

  


“Likewise, Chanyeol-ssi.”

  


“I’d like to discuss the events that perspired on the night of Jennie Kim’s party.” He took a seat in the armchair across from her, crossing his abnormally long legs. “That man who hired the hit was a former associate of SM, his name is Jongin. He used to work closely with Kim Suho.”

  


The stone-like expression on her face remained unchanged the entire time Chanyeol attempted to explain things. 

  


“You see, the EXO association was supposed to come in alliance with SM through an arranged marriage but due to… complicated matters, things didn’t go through.” Meaning Joohyun was supposed to marry Suho but couldn’t go through with it. “I’m aware you are skilled in… certain services, and on behalf of Lee Soo Man, we’d like to ask you for one last favor.” 

  


Joohyun was leaning on her desk, failing to read Seulgi’s reaction. Not wanting to beat around the bush any longer, “We want you to kill him. Suho’s being a little baby and is throwing a tantrum because he can’t get what he wants.” She rolled her eyes.

  


“I understand.” This wasn’t much different from what she normally did. “Just send me his profile and I’ll see what I can do.” 

  


Chanyeol bowed gracefully again, “Thank you Seulgi-ssi, SM is in debt to you.”

  


_ Well isn’t that ironic. _ She was originally hired to kill Joohyun but she couldn’t do that, now she was getting paid to kill for them instead. Not being able to execute Sooyoung’s wishes didn’t frighten her as much as she thought it would. Seulgi was the most dangerous woman in South Korea, she didn’t really fear whoever she planned on sending her way. 

  


Standing up to formally bow to each other, Chanyeol left. Joohyun moved to wrap her arms around her neck, pulling her close. “You know, you don’t have too if you don’t want to.” Remembering the night Seulgi came to her all beat up.

  


“I’d do anything to make sure you’re safe.” She placed her hands respectively on her hips.   
  


“I don’t want you to get hurt again.” She pouted, burying her head in Seulgi’s neck.

  


“I’ll be careful, I promise.” She held her. 

  


___

  


Sitting in her car, waiting for the familiar silver Audi R8 to pull up to the venue. She was looking for a clean kill this time, not wanting to get her hands dirty, for the sake of Joohyun. Her plan was to slip a roofie in his drink and then go home. Taking her usual place at the bar, she fluently pours the lethal clear liquid in his vodka mix before a server handed it to him. 

  


Unexpectedly, his guard takes a cautionary sip from it first, immediately dropping to the marble floors. The heavy men around them all unholster their weapons, ready to fire. 

  


Bored at their lackluster reaction, she continues to sip on her old fashioned, waiting for the perfect time to strike. If anything, she didn’t expect to get rid of him that easily. She continued to order drinks, having already secured a c4 underneath his car, that was set to detonate once the engine was turned on. 

  


Some poor valet boy went to get his car and met an unfortunate end. It was just him and two other men in the deserted parking lot, waiting for a car that would never arrive. She had to strike while the iron was hot, popping the two guards in the head, watching them descend into the floor. 

  


“Who’s there?!” Suho whipped his head around, grabbing the small silver-bearing pistol located in his pants. As tough as he tried to appear, she could see his hands shake while loading the gun. 

  


Taking long strides toward him and slapping the gun out of his hands before he could finish loading the mag. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” 

  


Taking a couple steps back in fear, “Who’re you? Do you know who I am?”

  


“Unfortunately, I do. A friend of mine doesn’t like you’re like you meddling with SM, I’m afraid your time’s up.” She pressed her favorite pistol into his meaty head. 

  


“W-wait, wait! What do you want? Money? I can give you money. J-just don’t shoot!” He begged her. 

  


She didn’t really care, she pulled the trigger with no remorse. It caused quite the scene, she finished loading his dropped gun and lodged another bullet into his bodyguard’s inanimate body. Finally putting the gun back into his limp hand, making it seem as if they got into a firefight. There weren’t any cameras in the complex, considering the venus often held high profile people, meaning they wanted absolute privacy. 

  


It felt nice knowing Joohyun was safer without him around. That was one thing that could justify her actions, protection. Everyone was allowed to protect the people close to them, Seulgi just happened to do it in a more  _ illegal _ way. 

  


Still, she felt no regret in her actions as she drove to Joohyun’s penthouse. Relieved when she answered the door, she engulfed her in a big bear hug. 

  


“Hi.” Not opting to let go.

  


“Hi.” She returned in a dreamy tone. “Did you eat? You smell like alcohol.” 

  


“No, I’m not hungry.” Seulgi saw the remains of Joohyun’s work splayed on the dining table. “I had a couple of drinks.” 

  


Later that night, Joohyun fit perfectly in her arms as they laid down to go to bed. She could tell she wanted to ask about Suho but was holding back. Maybe Joohyun was scared of talking about what Seulgi did. Because vocalizing it would make her realize how psychotic Seulgi really was. 

  


She had to be mindful of what other people thought about her profession, not everyone was used to carelessly losing people around them. Maybe Joohyun was afraid of death. That was why Seulgi was there, to prevent her early passing. Maybe deep down, Joohyun was afraid of her. 

  


Seulgi couldn’t deny that she was even a little afraid of herself at times, how much she enjoyed the masochistic feeling of ending someone’s life. But now she found new purpose, Joohyun. With Joohyun she forgot about all her sins, all the times she tempted fate, looked the grim reaper straight in the eyes. It made her almost forget she was a piece of human garbage. She truly was the scum of the earth, she was going to hell and just happened to drag a couple billionaires down with her.

  


Normally deafening silence would bring her to new levels of insanity. The voices in her head would scream so loud, silence became unbearable. Like she was damned to her own personal hell, like the lord was punishing her for all the heinous crimes she committed. 

  


But for now, the voices were silent, as if Joohyun scared them all away. She was the beacon in her dark lonely world, she gave her hope that maybe there was light at the end of the tunnel.

  


___

  


For the first time, Joohyun woke up before her. Seulgi woke up to the heavenly smell of bacon sizzling on the stove and fresh coffee being brewed. Still, in her pajamas, she entered the kitchen. Joohyun was flipping eggs, dressed in only an oversized shirt. 

  


Giving her beloved a morning kiss on the cheek, “Mornin’.” 

  


“You’re up late.” Joohyun was preparing both their plates.

  


“And you’re up early.” She gladly took her plate from Joohyun’s hands, mouth-watering at the sight.

  


They ate breakfast in comfortable silence, Joohyun was in no rush since it was Friday and she was working from home. She had a meeting later with Seungwan and needed to get her materials in order. She kept some of her things at Joohyun’s place since it was technically her second home at this point, she got ready in one of her dashing all-black suits, pulled on her ebony leather gloves and kissed Joohyun on the way out. 

  


___

  


Seungwan was wearing an elegant grey pantsuit and a pair of expensive gold sunglasses, sitting at one of the outdoor tables. Politely bowing to the feared crime boss, she took a seat across from her. 

  


Slipping the flooded expense report out of her coat pocket, she slides it across the table without a word.

  


“Thank you. I don’t know how I’d repay you.” She immediately opened the paper, eyes moving from left to right over the pale sheet of paper. “Oh god…”

  


“What?” She sipped on the iced water the waiter brought her. 

  


Turning the paper over, showing her, she pointed to the stacked numbers, “This is bad if they continue spending like this, they’ll be bankrupt by the end of the fiscal year.”

  


“Huh?”

  


“Seul, they have no more money.”

  


“Oh.”

  


“That means they’re no longer JYP’s biggest threat. How could this happen?”

  


Seulgi almost spit out her drink.  _ What? They’re no longer a target? _ She quickly dialed Sooyoung’s phone number.

  


“Sooyoung? Sooyoung? Sooyoung! Sooyoung?”

  


“WHAT!” She screamed back through the small speaker. “I was sleeping.”

  


“SM has no money!” She didn’t know how to put into more sophisticated words since this wasn’t her profession. 

  


“I know pabo, we’re waiting for them to file for bankruptcy.” she yawned. “Once they do that, Sunmi’s going to buy them and absorb them into JYP.” 

  


“What?”

  


“Yeah, so you can keep your little girlfriend while we figure out the logistics.” 

  


“She’s not my girlfriend.” She deadpanned.

  


“Lesbian lover, partner, fling. What have you, we get the point. No need to play dramatic star crossed lovers anymore.” She sounded bored. “The point is, you’re free to do whatever you want now. Quit, keep working, doesn’t matter to me.” Sooyoung stated plainly.

  


Seulgi felt like she could run a million miles with the adrenaline pumping through her veins. It finally ended (granted, she started it), the killing, the illegal work, she was free to put that all behind her. For the first time since she entered her line of work, she felt like she had all the power to make her own decisions.

  


___

  


This time, she was sitting on Joohyun’s balcony. Brandishing a nice blend of Cambodian coffee and a Charles Bukowski book, she felt like she could finally breathe. 

  


“WHAT?” She heard Joohyun scream from inside. 

  


Jumping from her seat, Joohyun was just on the phone, seemingly very, very distressed. “What do you mean we’re bankrupt? You mean to tell me you’ve been hiding this from me? No, I haven’t looked at the reports yet, but you could’ve given me a little heads up before. Dad, things like this don’t just happen overnight, you  _ chose  _ not to tell me.” 

  


Ooo, she was  _ really _ mad. Joohyun had the habit of aggressively gesturing her hands whenever she was pissed.

  


Dramatically throwing up her hands again, “No, dad this is primarily your fault. This is why mom left.” She rubbed her temples. “I’m not going to be here to clean up your mess, just because you were careless and didn’t care to think how you’re affecting other people.”

  


_ Damn. _ She just dropped a bomb. Seulgi, torn from going over to comfort her or just letting the girl have her space, cautiously moved to hug her once she hung up. Joohyun sighed deeply into the taller girl, melting upon contact. 

  


Rubbing soft circles into the shorter woman’s back as an attempt of soothing her, they stood there until her ragged breathing evened out. 

  


“You ok?” She spoke against the crown of her head.

  


“Yeah, I’m just mad.”

  


“You want to talk about it?”

  


“My dad was just calling to tell me he already sold the company and all it’s assets to JYP. Like gee, thanks for telling me.” Her tone bitter and sarcastic.

  


Internally she was doing backflips but on the outside, she remained sympathetic to her lover’s distress. “I’m sorry.” 

  


“Everything sucks.” She sounded like a teenager who was going through it. 

  


Returning a light laugh, “Maybe not everything, things will turn up.”

  


“That’s true, I have you and I bought a new book recently…”

  


“Wow, being compared to pages, am I?” She pretended to sound offended.

  


Playfully slapping her arm, “Yah!” 

  


Ending the night on a lighter note, they spent the majority of their time together watching old western movies on her couch and later went to bed. Things finally felt right, like everything was slowly coming together.

  


___

  


_ The sound of heavy breathing fills her ears, looking down at her hands all she sees is red. Her coat sleeves drenched in a violet liquid, her fingers glistening in that vile substance, blood.  _

  


_ A single gunshot was fired, hearing a bullet whizz past her right ear, barely grazing her head. Before she could process where she was, in front of her she sees Joohyun clutch her chest. That same wetness spewing from her hands, the hands that were covering her wound. _

  


_ She couldn’t scream, she opened her mouth but nothing came out. Resulting in a panicked state of adrenaline, she lunges the catch the falling woman. Only that she wasn’t making any progress forward, her feet slipping on the concrete, sliding but making no contact or friction to give her motion.  _

  


_ Her movements became bolder, she pushed all her power into her legs. She didn’t feel tired, but her eyes stung from the falling tears. _

  


_ Joohyun’s body was crumpled on the dirty floor, her hair covering her face. Lifeless eyes pointed directly at her, almost in a taunting way. No matter how fast she forced her legs to move, she couldn’t get to her.  _

  


_ Seulgi felt like her heart was on fire, she couldn’t call out for her, she couldn’t be there by her side, she was helpless. Stuck watching as the life and blood drained itself from the slowly dying Bae Joohyun.  _

  


___

  


She woke up in cold sweat, her lungs burned for air and her head was pounding in its skull. 

  


“What’s wrong?” Joohyun shuffled under the sheets, her voice dripping with sleep.

  


Rubbing her eyes, trying to get the remains of the dream out of her head, “Nothing, I just had a bad dream.” 

  


“Hmm, come back to bed.” She didn’t even realize she was up and away from her.

  


Shaking her head.  _ This is ridiculous, Joohyun is fine. Calm down. _ She let the smaller woman cling to her, resuming her slumber. 

  


Seulgi had already forgotten what she dreamt of, her eyes growing heavy in Joohyun’s arms. 

  


___

  


_ “Breaking! Lee Soo Man hands his company over to new CEO of JYP, Lee Sunmi.” _ Pictures of him and her shaking hands were plastered on the front pages of news sites. None of the articles said the reason behind this deal, just that SM would now be under JYP. Joohyun now worked closely with Sooyoung and Seulgi decided on a nice retirement. 

  


Moving in with Joohyun was like her life was starting on a new page. Joohyun happily welcomed her into her world. Seulgi was attending therapy, working out all her problems, paying respects to the families she wronged, all the people she took of this planet. 

  


Her first appointment was very awkward. She didn’t know how to vocalize that she killed people for a living. All her life she felt sectioned off from others, guarded, and now she was expected to just solve it all withing the first appointment?

  


She was sitting in the rather futuristic looking waiting room, the receptionist told her that Dr.Myoui Mina was still in with another patient. She was recommended to her by Lisa, who had retired 4 years ago and was close friends with her during her time serving JYP. Apparently, Dr.Myoui was very skilled when it came to people of her… stature. 

  


“Dr.Myoui will see you know Ms.Kang.” 

  


Somberly walking into a beautiful glass office, Dr.Myoui Mina had her hair short in a black bob, she had little beauty marks scattered all over her face and offered the assassin a professional smile. 

  


“Take a seat, will you.” She said in a soft, comforting tone, pointing to a modern-looking leather couch. 

  


Once she was seated, the doctor got up from her desk and occupied a seat across from her, elegantly crossing her legs. 

  


Scanning over the woman, she wore minimal but expensive jewelry, plain formal clothes, and had what seemed to be an engagement band on her long left finger. 

  


“Let’s start, shall we.” She opened the note pad that was laying on the coffee table in front of them. “Why are you here, Seulgi-ssi?”

  


“I guess I just want to get better.” She stated plainly. “My friend recommended you to me, she told me you help… people like us.”

  


“Killers?” She replied nonchalantly. “Yes, I’m aware of what people like you do. I used to have a close friend who was in the same industry as you, I watched as she slowly lost her mind and destroyed herself. She was one of the reasons I wanted to become a psychologist, to help people regain mental stability.” Her tone was neutral and devoid of judgment. 

  


“Yeah…” She was very uncomfortable.

  


“Well Seulgi-ssi, the fact that you came here willingly, wanting to get better is a big step in the right direction.” She smiled, easing her nerves slightly. “So, where were you born?”

  


“Ansan.”

  


“And you’re parent’s professions?”

  


“My dad was a salaryman and my mom wasn’t employed.”

  


“How would you describe your family’s dynamic, growing up?”

  


“We were always poor. I always remember being hungry.”

  


“Is that how you ended up joining JYP?” 

  


“Yes, I used to steal from people on the streets and I got caught.”

  


“Seulgi, if this is going to work, I’m going to need you to elaborate a bit more.” She looked up at her.

  


“Sorry.”

  


“Don’t be sorry. I know sharing isn’t something you’re used too, but baby steps.”

  


Releasing a breath she didn’t know she was holding, she balled her hands up into fists. 

  


_ You can do this Seulgi, baby steps. _ It felt like there was a cement wall blocking her from Mina, like every time she wanted to add something to the conversation her throat went dry and she couldn’t speak. 

  


They spent the rest of their designated time sitting in silence, she couldn’t do it. Mina didn’t push her, she wanted her to be able to talk and initiate the conversation when she wanted, letting Seulgi take control.

  


When her time was up, she felt horrible, she locked herself in her car and felt her eyes start to sting. For the first time in 15 years she cried, she felt hopeless. 

  


___

  


She got home emotionally drained and tried, face planting into the couch upon entrance. Joohyun was doing god knows what in the kitchen and Seulgi let out a loud groan. 

  


“So how was your day?” Joohyun obviously knew there was something on Seulgi’s chest she needed to share. 

  


Padding over and hugging her from behind, “Tiring.”

  


“How was therapy?”

  


“Weird.”

  


“Hmm?”

  


“What’re you making.” She deflected, not wanting to admit to her defeat.

  


“Sujebi, your favorite.”

  


Planting a firm kiss on her lover’s cheek she’s glad to have someone in her life that cared about her, even if she didn’t deserve it. She would try, she would try if it meant being better for Joohyun.

  


___

  


Her next time meeting Mina, she was more fired up, she was ready to share, she wanted to get better.

  


“Hello Seulgi-ssi, how are you?”

  


“Good.” Oh no, she was back on those one-word replies. She couldn’t help it, she was a woman of very few words.

  


“Let’s start with something different.” She already had her pen and paper out, jotting down things that defined the enigma that was Kang Seulgi. “Do you have anyone special in your life?”

  


Nodding before giving her a wordy answer, she was trying to formulate a lengthy response, “Yes, her name is Bae Joohyun. I was hired to be her personal guard and we became romantically involved once I retired.”

  


“Hmm.” She quickly noted that small but significant piece of information. “And how would you describe your relationship.”

  


If she wanted to get better, she needed to make an effort, “She makes me feel safe. I’ve never been in a relationship like this.”

  


“Did you not feel safe before?”

  


“I worked to point where I had to look over my shoulder constantly, until I quit. When I was with Joohyun, I finally felt security.”

  


“You said in the previous session that you’ve been poor in your childhood and that’s why you got into JYP?”

  


“Yes, I got caught pickpocketing and Sunmi offered me a job. That’s when I started training.” 

  


“Can you tell me what ‘training’ was like.” She leaned forward slightly.

  


She finally let go, she was tightly gripping her hands until her nails painfully dug into her palms. “It was hard, we barely got any sleep. We were pit against each other and often fought to the extremes. We were trained to be killers.”

  


“Would you say you lack empathy?”

  


“Yes? I don’t know. Sometimes back then, I would feel sick to my stomach whenever I went on the job, but as years went on I learned to ignore it. Is it too late for me?”

  


Mina offered her the warmest, friendliest smile, “It’s never too late Seulgi-ssi. The fact that you came here to get help is great.”

  


Seulgi went home with newfound determination. Greeting her lover with a kiss and brief hug, she felt reborn. 

  


_ Empathy. _ The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. She shared feelings with only a few people in her life. Like the old Japanese proverb, you have three faces, one you show your close friends and family, one you show the world, and one you show no one. 

  


The face Seulgi showed her close friends and family was warmer, just starting to open up, the face she showed the world was a lot colder, and the face she showed no one but herself was borderline psychotic. She was trying, she started watching a lot of emotional k-dramas, trying to learn how they dealt with emotions. Joohyun was sniffling at the sappy love story beside her while she was completely stonefaced. 

  


She was about 1 hour into her 5th session with Dr.Myoui, she was getting more comfortable with talking about how she felt and the things inside her head. 

  


“I’ve been watching a lot of shows lately, shows where they cry a lot. I can’t see myself feeling anything they’re saying. Am I crazy?”

  


“What? No. Empathy isn’t mimicking emotion, it’s understanding it. Let’s say you see someone having a hard time, they’re sad or something. Try putting yourself in their shoes, try taking into account what they’re going through.” 

  


“Huh?”

  


“You’ve been trained to observe people from afar, right? Use that but this time try to see where they’re coming from.”

  


She never thought of it like that. Every time she’s studied someone, she tried to weaponize it. “Oh.”

  


That night when she got home, she was surprised to see Lee Sunmi and Park Sooyoung sitting at their dinner table. They were sipping on some tea, talking about the papers sitting in the middle of them. 

  


“Welcome home babe.” Joohyun looked up from some report she was reading.

  


“Hi.” She kept it short.

  


“Hey, Seul.” Sooyoung greeted. Sunmi just waved at her, eyes still on the papers.

  


“What’re you guys doing here?” Her tone neutral, she tried to add a bit more emotion to it.

  


“Just reviewing some stuff with JYP.” Sunmi finally made eye contact with her. “How’s retirement?”

  


“Fun, I’m picking up some hobbies.” She started enrolling in some recreational art classes, finding a new hidden talent of hers. 

  


Sunmi was about to ask another question but Seulgi’s phone interrupted them, it was her mom calling. “Umma?”

  


“Seulgi-ah, when are you coming to visit us?” Her mom’s loud voice boomed through the small phone speakers. “We want to see your beautiful girlfriend!”

  


She could hear Sooyoung snickering from behind her. “Yah, Umma!” She whined. “Soon, alright?” She left the room to continue her conversation with her loud mom in private.

  


___

  


“What are your parents like?’ Joohyun said in the silence, Seulgi was rubbing soft circles on her back as they tried to sleep. 

  


“Old.”

  


“I know that pabo. I mean they’re personalities.”

  


“Hmm,” She thought hard. “My mom is nice but loud, my dad is slow, and my brother is smart.” 

  


“They live in Ansan?” 

  


“They used too, now they live in Jeju. My brother is a surgeon and works in Seoul. Why?”

  


“Mmm, nothing. I was just wondering since your mom called you today.”

  


“You heard?”

  


“Of course I heard, I thought your mom was on speakerphone the whole time.” She laughed. 

  


Cheeks turning red from embarrassment, “Yeah, they want to meet you.”

  


“Do you want them to meet me?” Joohyun asked cautiously. 

  


“I mean if you want to.” Seulgi had never introduced anyone to her parents since she had been working since childhood. “We could visit them sometime, they both don’t have jobs so their schedule is always free.”

  


“I’d like that.” She felt Joohyun smile into her shoulder as they cuddled.

  


___

  


Was Joohyun trying to murder her? Waking up this early was a death sentence. She booked their flight to Ansan at 5 in the morning, meaning they had to wake up at 3 if they wanted to get there in time. The little businesswoman was violently shaking her awake. 

  


“Come on, Seul. We’re gonna be late if you don’t wake up.” She warned.

  


She groaned from under the pillows she shoved in her face, “It’s still dark out, what the hell?” One thing she found out about herself during her retirement was that she  _ loved  _ sleeping. “Hmph, fine.” She hobbled out of bed and beelined for the bathroom.

  


Joohyun didn’t want to show off to Seulgi’s parents, so they weren’t taking her private jet. Instead, they’d be taking first class.

  


On the way out, Seulgi grabbed both their suitcases, Joohyun’s expensive LV bags, and her plain black ones. The paparazzi followed them through the terminal, snapping pictures of the couple trying to escape to Jeju. 

  


Their flight wasn’t as luxurious as Joohyun’s jet but as soon as they were seated, Seulgi as knocked out. 

  


The monotonous, dull ringing of the plane alarm landing woke her and she looked over to her side. Joohyun was typing away on her expensive laptop, glasses framing her cute little face. 

  


“Hmm, pretty.” She pinched one of her small cheeks.   
  


“Aigoo, Ddeulgi you’re going to be the death of me.” She swatted away Seulgi’s hand before handing her a packet of peanuts, almost telepathically reading that she was hungry.

  


“Seulgi-ah! You got taller.” Her dad sandwiched her in between her arms, squeezing the life out of her. They went to pick them up a the airport gate once they landed.

  


Joohyun formally bowed to her parents but her dad just gave her the same bear hug she gave his daughter. “Ahh, you must be Joohyun.” The Kangs beamed at her, their adorable eye smiles almost identical. 

  


“Yes, nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs.Kang.” She coughed once her dad let go. 

  


“Oh nonsense, call us Daesung and Soomin.” Her mother replied, grabbing her hand and leading them to their car.

  


Seulgi’s parents were surprisingly warm, which contrasted the first time she met Seulgi. She was a stone-cold killer but as she got to know her, she more closely resembled her parents. 

  


Their home was very nice, Seulgi must’ve picked it. It was a contemporary beach house fully furnished and equipped with a nice back yard and pool. 

  


“Honey, your brother and his wife are visiting at the same time too.” Soomin chimed once they finished carrying their bags in.

  


“Welcome home, pabo.” Her brother walked in with a beer in his hand, wearing a pair of swim shorts. 

  


“Thanks for the warning mom.” She rolled her eyes. “Hi, Seojun.” Joohyun swore they could be twins, they had the same monolids and chubby cheeks, but apparently Seojun was a bit older. 

  


“Yerimmie is out in the pool, go say hi.” He immediately changed his expression to kind when his eyes met Joohyun’s. “Nice to meet you, I’m Seojun.”

  


“I’m Joohyun.” She shook his hand.

  


“How you managed to land someone as beautiful as Joohyun is beyond me, bear.” He slapped Seulgi’s back before running away to the kitchen. 

  


“YAH!” Seulgi wanted to run after him, but she wanted to see her niece even more. 

  


Joohyun meekly followed her through the condo out to the back yard. A woman with wavy long chestnut hair was wading in the shallow end with a toddler sitting in an innertube. 

  


“Ddeulgi!” The little girl screamed, kicking her little legs in an attempt to swim towards her. 

  


‘Hi, Yerim-ah!” She elated. “How are you.”

  


“Good, Appa wouldn’t let me eat ice cream for breakfast, but I’m managing.” She seemed quite intelligent for her young age. “Imo, who’s that pretty lady?” She pointed to Joohyun, who was standing behind her. 

  


“That’s Joohyun, my girlfriend.” She said easily. 

  


_ Girlfriend. _ Wow, she had never said that before, she liked the way the word rolled off her tongue. 

  


Doggy paddling towards the SM beauty, “Hello, I’m Kang Yerim. I’m 7 years old and I like turtles, please treat unnie well.” 

  


Her heart almost melted front the sheer cuteness, “Hello Yerim.”

  


A few hours later and Joohyun and Yerim were best friends, playing in the backyard carefree. Yerim was tearing up from all the laughs and tickles her unnie was giving her. 

  


“You look happy.” Taeyeon, her sister in law, resided. 

  


“I am.”

  


“You deserve it. You’ve worked hard.”

  


Taeyeon wasn’t lying, Seulgi sacrificed her childhood and most of her adult life just so she could provide for her family. When she started working for JYP, her brother was able to get into a better school and focus on his studies, and her parents were able to finally rest and live a peaceful life without worries. 

  


Her brother came to her side, handing her a beer. Seojun was one of the top surgeons in South Korea. He specialized in neurosurgery and made a substantial amount of money. He and his family lived in some expensive Seoul penthouse and visited their parents whenever he was off from work. 

  


“Drink up, pabo.” He smirked.

  


“Thanks, idiot.” 

  


After finishing her beer, Yerim ran up to her and Joohyun trailed behind, seemingly out of breath. “Imo, will you play with us?” 

  


“Of course Yermmie.” Her cheeks were a bit red-cheeked from the beer and she swiftly picked up her tiny niece, carrying her on her back. 

  


She ran in about a hundred circles around the spacious green backyard before setting Yerim down, the small girl collapsed from dizziness, holding her stomach from the strong laughs coming from her mouth. Seulgi laid down next to her, turning her head to see Joohyun having an engaging conversation with her dad.

  


And she felt it again, that warm buzz that spread from her heart and all the way to her fingertips. Her body felt light and she was smiling like a dope. 

  


Her brother found a hidden stash of party poppers in the pantry when he went inside to prepare the grilled meats. With a mischievous grin on his face, he ran outside and popped one, screaming in the air, causing Yerim to laugh even louder.

  


_ Bang! _ That familiar noise filled her ears, she shot up and her hand automatically traveled to the inside of her jacket, reaching for a gun that wasn’t there. She couldn’t help it, it was reflex, something embedded into who she was and how she operated. Her whole demeanor changed from light-hearted to deadly withing seconds. Joohyun and her brother noticed the change immediately, Seojun’s playful expression changed from playful to apologetic. 

  


Joohyun placed a hand on the small of her back, “Are you okay, Seul?” Searching her eyes for something. 

  


Her heart was beating so loud she thought it was going to explode, she started seeing red. 

  


_ Blood, blood, blood everywhere.  _ All she could picture was blood on her hands, permanently staining her nails and skin, she felt sick to her stomach. 

  


“Seulgi, take a deep breath. Are you okay?”

  


“Yeah.” She managed to croak, her throat felt like sandpaper. “I just need to get some air.” She pushed her way pash Seojun and into the house. She knew it didn’t make sense that she was going inside to get air, but she needed to be away from everyone for a bit, to clear her head. 

  


She locked herself in the guest bathroom, splashing her face with water. She tried a breathing technique, opening her lungs and filling them with air.  _ Goddamnit Seulgi, calm down. _ Her hands were shaking as she gripped the edges of the white sink. Actually, scratch that, her whole body was shaking and her breathing was erratic. 

  


She harshly bit the inside of her cheek and tightly wrapped her arms around her body, hugging herself. She flipped the lights off and slumped against the wall, bringing her knees to her chest. After spending a couple of minutes in the dark, she finally calmed down. 

  


Joining her family back out in the yard, she tried to pretend as if nothing happened. She really didn’t need to address her declining mental health in front of her whole family, that was something she was saving for her therapist. 

  


The tension was obviously present while they ate and Yerim noticed that, trying to cheer up her favorite imo by sitting beside her the whole time and holding her hand. 

  


“It’s okay imo, I get scared sometimes too.” She leaned on her, holding her hand in her’s and eating a hot dog with her other. 

  


Filling up on barbeque and drinks, she calmed down. Basking in the presence of her loved ones. 

  


“Sorry about earlier, Seul.” Her brother came over to her while Joohyun and Yerim were playing with sparklers. 

  


“It’s fine, I just got a bit scared.”

  


“You don’t need to work ever again, you know that right? I make enough to support you, mom, and dad.” This was his way of repaying her for all her hard work. 

  


She sighed in her seat, dowing the last of her soju, “I know.” 

  


Standing in his seat, he clapped his hands, “Alright Yerimmie, time to clean up and get ready for bed.”

  


Everyone slowly cleared the dishes from the outside table and left for their respective rooms. Joohyun was unpacking her pajamas when she looked over her shoulder to see Seulgi blankly staring out the window. 

  


She laid her small hand on her arm. “You want to talk about what happened back there?”

  


Snapping back to reality, “Hmm? Oh, I just got a bit… scared.” 

  


Rolling her eyes, “You and I both know that was a bit more than just scared, Kang Seulgi.”

  


Raising her hands in defeat, “Alright, alright, I was just a bit spooked. I got a… flashback or something, I don’t know. God this sounds so stupid.” She cursed to herself. 

  


“Hey, it’s not stupid. You’re getting better and that’s good. I just want you to feel safe.” From where she was standing and Seulgi was sitting, she was a bit taller as she hugged her. Seulgi closed her eyes and felt finally at ease.

  


“Thanks, Hyunnie.” She whispered. 

  


___

  


“PTSD,” Dr.Myoui told her the next time they met. “What you’re experiencing is a form of PTSD.”

  


“PTSD?”

  


“Yes, post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s trauma triggered by traumatic experiences, it can cause panic attacks, anxiety, and often nightmares. I’ve seen a lot of people in your field experience this.”

  


“H-how do I get rid of it?”

  


“There is no surefire cure since it’s a psychological disorder. Ways to ‘get rid of it’ is meditating, therapy, and reprocessing those events.” She made air quotes. 

  


“Hmm.” 

  


“Things like these take time, Seulgi. But that’s why you’re here, to get help.” She closed her notepad. “So why don’t you tell me what happened at your parent’s house again.”

  


“Well, my brother set off some cheap party poppers and it scared the living hell out of me.”

  


“Anything else?”

  


“Yeah, I reached for my gun. I wasn’t carrying one, I got rid of them, but it’s like my body remembered where I kept it. Then it became hard to breathe, I couldn’t think straight and I couldn’t stop seeing blood everywhere.”

  


“Wow. That’s a lot to unpack.” They talked till the last second. Leaving her office with a clear head and a better understanding. 

  


Every morning following that appointment, she spent at least 2 hours dedicated to meditating. She would meditate and do her yoga in Joohyun’s small rooftop garden before the sun rose. One day, Joohyun appeared at the door, bundled in a fluffy robe, and squinting at her through the dark morning of 4 am. 

  


“What are you doing, babe?”

  


“Yoga,” She looked at her girlfriend through her legs, being in a downward dog position. “Dr.Myoui said this and meditating would help clear my head of bad thoughts.”

  


“That’s great Seul, but could you come back to bed. Yoga will be there in the morning.”

  


“Okay.” She said a bit disappointed she didn’t get to see the sunrise, but Joohyun was more important. 

  


This became her new routine, ever since she handed in her resignation letter to Sunmi, she would wake up with Joohyun in her arms, bid her farewell as she went to work, and then escape to the rooftop to do her yoga. 

  


She would spend hours up there, sitting in the sun and in silence. She has come to love silence, she used to hate the memories it brought but now it brought her peace. Every time she closed her eyes she was brought to Joohyun, all she saw was Joohyun’s smile, all she heard was Joohyun’s laugh, and all she felt was Joohyun’s arms around her. 

  


Like a beacon in the night, Joohyun had brought so much light to her. She let her see things for how they really were, instead of the dark and tainted version Seulgi saw. And for her she was grateful. Grateful that such an amazing person was introduced into her life.

  


___

  


Squinting her eyes, she couldn’t see for shit. The tiny font on the leather-bound menu in front of her was unreadable, placing it 2 inches from her eyes.

  


“I think you need glasses, dear.”

  


“What? No, I’m fine, the font is just a bit smaller than I remember. Did they reprint the menus?” She tried to deflect. 

  


“Whatever you say.” Joohyun was sipping from a glass of expensive red wine, looking like a goddess in her white a-line flower print dress.

  


Seulgi rolled up her sleeves, getting ready to read the entree list. She was wearing her light summer suit, an oversized button-down, tucked into a pair of pressed khakis.

  


“Are you ready to order.” A formally dressed waiter approached them, Joohyun still tasting her red wine and Seulgi still trying to decipher her menu.

  


“I’ll have the lobster.” Joohyun said fluently, like she had said it a hundred times before.

  


“I’ll have the… chicken. Yes, I’ll have the chicken.” Closing her menu and handing it to the lady serving them. 

  


Then smiling like a little dope, “Jooyhun-ah, you look very pretty tonight.” 

  


Not missing the older woman blush, “Aigoo, greasy Seulgi.” 

  


“What? Am I not allowed to bask in the beauty of my girlfriend?” She teased. 

  


They fell into a comfortable chatter throughout the dinner, Seulgi almost forgot about the big ring box she was carrying in her pocket the whole night. 

  


They were taking a vacation in Hawaii. At first, she thought it was a bit cliche that she’d be proposing to Joohyun while they were on their 2nd year anniversary, but she couldn’t wait any longer.

  


_ Dumb bear, you almost forgot about the ring. _ Ah yes, the ring. The ring was a whopping $100,000. With a large cut diamond and an even larger price tag, she was ready to make the commitment. 

  


_ No better time than the present, right? _ She wiped the side of her mouth with her napkin before getting up and kneeling on the wooden peer they were seated at. The seaside restaurant was the perfect place to propose. The sun was setting, coloring the whole dining area a nice tint of orange, and Joohyun looked ethereal. 

  


She was in the middle of complaining about something Sooyoung did at work and Seulgi was just getting down on one knee. 

  


“Huh?” Joohyun dropped her fork, letting it clink against her china dish. 

  


“Bae Joohyun, will you marry me?” 

  


“W-what?” 

  


“I love you a lot. You actually taught me how to love and how to think with my brain instead of my fists. You’ve fixed me in every way possible and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

  


“Y-yes!” Her hands were shaking as she wrapped them around Seulgi’s shoulders. 

  


She had informed the staff at the restaurant that she’d be proposing earlier before they came. They came out and set off a bunch of confetti poppers. 

  


She and Seulgi jumped a bit at the surprise, Joohyun let out a little yelp and Seulgi just inhaled deeply. She wasn’t scared anymore, she had been taking great care of her mental and physical health over the years. 

  


Turning her attention back to her new fiancee and slipping the ring onto her small fingers, it fit perfectly. “Omo, Seulgi this looks too expensive.” She worried. 

  


“That’s odd coming from a lead executive of JYP.” She was still holding onto her hand, even after they sat down again. “Bought that ring ages ago, I’ve been trying to find the perfect time to propose.”

  


“And you chose it when I was in the middle of talking about that damned Park Sooyoung?”

  


“I thought you looked so nice under the sunset that I couldn’t help myself.” 

  


“Aigoo you’re going to be the death of me.”

  


___

  


They kept the ceremony short and sweet. Seulgi wanted to invite all of Korea to their wedding and scream her love from the mountain tops, but she was content with the small venue Joohyun chose. 

  


Seulgi invited her family and Sunmi. Joohyun invited her close friends and omitted the family part. Seulgi knew that they weren’t really close, Joohyun disowned her father and her mother left them ages ago. She was very well informed on Joohyun’s family life, and her family was more than ready to treat Joohyun like one of their own.

  


She didn’t think she’d cry. Seulgi wasn’t one to get sentimental over these things, but when her dad walked Joohyun down the aisle, she couldn’t keep it together. Seulgi ended up breaking that one-night stand rule she had set for her self. She wasn’t Einstein, but she was pretty sure marriage wasn’t what she had intended the first night they slept together. 

  


The officiant got over the bulk of whatever he was required to say, Seulgi wasn’t really paying attention, just mesmerized by the woman in front of her. 

  


Crying during their vows was a given, once the burly man marrying said, “You may now kiss the bride.” After slipping on each other’s rings, they locked lips. 

  


Much like the very first time they kissed, it was electric, Seulgi felt a pang in her heart that spread throughout her whole body. Smiling into the kiss, she heard her friends and family cheering for them in the background but for now, all she could think about was her new wife and they’re new life together.

  


___

  


She and Joohyun were on their way to Sunmi’s, they were having dinner with her, Chungha, and their 2-year-old daughter, Somi. 

  


The young CEO opened the door to her utterly massive mansion with a stupid smile on her face, “Hello, Joohyun, Seulgi.” 

  


Her place didn’t change, except for a few toys scattered here and there. She swears she’s never seen a toddler wear so much Louis Vuitton until she met Somi for the first time. The little chubby baby would be crawling in her $1,000 onesie, playing with an expensive Elmo Kaws stuffed animal. 

  


“Where’s Somi?” Seulgi cuts straight to the chase. She really loved kids these days, Yerim had grown too big for her to play with, her niece now preferred to tease her instead. 

  


“Gee, nice to see you too.” Sunmi rolls her eyes.

  


“Hi, Sunmi.” Jooyun greets. 

  


Chungha walks into the room, holding a very antsy Somi, who was making grabby hands at her auntie. 

  


Complying, Seulgi sweeps Somi into her arms, throwing her up into the air. Joohyun just stares at her in pure horror as she carelessly tosses the baby into the air, Somi’s giggles echoing through the foyer. 

  


“Be careful Seulgi!” Both her and Sunmi cringe. 

  


“Oh, it’s fine.” Chungha moves to link her and Sunmi’s arms. 

  


Not wanting to give Sunmi a heart attack, she hugs her goddaughter and blows a raspberry into her chubby baby cheek, eliciting the cutest laughs from the bundle of joy in her arms. 

  


For the remainder of the night, they caught up, bonding over dinner and then retiring to the living room so Seulgi and Somi could have more to play. 

  


“Omo, Somi you got to big.” Seulgi was squishing her plush cheeks as the baby tried to stack wooden blocks into a tower. 

  


“She eats literally everything.” Chunga sighed. 

  


Seulgi was hiding behind her hands, playing a game of peekaboo with Somi and Joohyun was talking to Sunmi about stocks. 

  


When it was time to leave, Seulgi found it near impossible to part with the young Lee. “Aish, Seulgi get your own baby and give me back mine.” The CEO complained as she gave Somi another kiss goodbye. 

  


Saying the hundredth goodbye before actually leaving, Joohyun lets out a satisfied sigh after buckling her seatbelt. 

  


“Do you want them?” Joohyun interrupts, cutting the silence that filled their car ride home. “Kids, I mean.”

  


“I do.” She responds slowly. “But I don’t want to force something onto you if you feel uncomfortable about it.”

  


“I don’t,” she made a move to caress her hand that rested in the middle armrest. “I think a kid would be nice.”

  


She really didn’t know what she did to get this lucky. For the longest time, she was waiting for everything to come crashing down, as karma for what she had done when she was employed. But much to her chagrin, nothing came. There was no rush when she was with Joohyun, she felt like they were meant for each other in every right way. The amount of emotional hurdles they had to jump in order to be able to live comfortably was absurd. 

  


Seulgi still frequented Mina, but her appointments became less often as a byproduct of her progression. Still sitting on a massive bank account, she didn’t need to worry about money anymore, she could focus on her self for once. She spent time in their rooftop, painting, and spending time with her wife. 

  


She was finally allowed to reconnect with who she was, instead of keeping it buried underneath a stone-cold front. She lived the life that was taken away from her when she signed that contract. She lived without resentment, without regret, because she was content with who she was now. 

  


___

  


The sound of cacophonous cries wakes the young couple in the middle of the night. Seulgi is the first to the door, letting Joohyun get her rest as she went to take care of their son. 

  


“Sehun, you’re just as loud as your umma.” Seulgi jested to the now calmed baby sipping on a warmed bottle. She rocked him in her arms until his tears were dry and his eyes slipped shut. 

  


“Is he finally done with his nightly meltdown?” Joohyun peered over her shoulder to take a peek at the young Kang. 

  


“Oh, sorry did we wake you.” Seulgi was apologetic, it was 3 am and Joohyun had work in the morning. 

  


“No, it’s fine.” She leaned on her wife as she watched Sehun sleep in her arms. 

  


They stayed like that for a while, until Seulgi got tired and put Sehun back into his crib. “How can a baby look so mad when sleeping?” 

  


“I know, I think he has resting bitch face.” Joohyun laughed.

  


“Mmm, it’s just the eyebrows. He’s a sweetheart.” 

  


When they adopted Sehun, Seulgi fell in love all over again. He was calm and rarely fussy, he didn’t appreciate all the games Seulgi played, he much rather preferred to be read to by Joohyun. But Seulgi often made him laugh so much his eyes watered, with her funny faces and tickles. There wasn’t a second their house wasn’t alive with laughter or giggles. 

  


She was a drastically different woman than she was a couple years ago. She never envisioned herself getting married and having a kid of her own. She sort of expected to get killed on one of her missions. She used not care much about whether she lived the next day or not, being a hitman required you to sacrifice your self for the job if that’s what it took. 

  


She when she met Joohyun, her world came crashing down. She opened her up and managed to fix her. Now she laid beside her sleeping wife, having just put their son to bed and she couldn’t feel luckier.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this particularly lengthy fic. Don't forget to leave kudos!
> 
> twt: @akuma__jpg


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